So, your baby went and did it: signed up to "See the World" "Accelerate his life" and "Join the Adventure." If you are like most parents, you are swinging back and forth between bursting with pride, crying from fear, and wondering how your little one could possibly be old enough to be going off to join the Navy. This is a big day, not just for your son or daughter, but for you also. You have become a Navy Mom or Dad. Everybody copes with the stress of this day a little bit differently, but here are seven things that you can do to get through this day.
First. Have yourself a good cry. It's okay. It's normal. Sometime, around eighteen years ago you brought a little person into this world and promised that you would see him or her through to adulthood. Congratulations you have succeeded. (See #2). But watching your little one go off to do something that is not little at all is going to bring up more emotions than most of us can (or should) try to keep down. It's okay to be crying with pride at what you and your family have accomplished. It's okay to be crying out of a little bit of fear for the unknown. And it's okay to be crying because the house seems just a whole lot more empty that it did yesterday. You are not the only person who has been through this, and it is probably not the last time that you will get a little bit moist in the eyes in the next eight weeks.
Second. Pat yourself on the back. Not only have you done well just making it this far, but you have raised a child who is so selfless and giving that he or she has now volunteered to leave home and serve our country. Let me assure you: there are a lot of kids who do not have the courage and the character to make the sacrifice that your child has decided to make. You have raised a man or woman that rest of the country is proud of. You should be doubly proud.
Third. Write a letter. Okay, the first two were all about you. That's enough of that. Now it's time to get back to taking care of your recruit. (You didn't actually think that your job was done when they got on that bus or plane, did you?) Every ship in the Navy has very strong, thick metal wires that stretch around the outside of the deck to keep people on the side where the water isn't. These things are called lifelines. In boot camp, lifelines are called letters. You can hold on to them. They keep you away from the dark and scary things that are lurking out there. They remind you which way is up, and where you came from. There's no time like the present to start writing and sending letters. Sure, your baby isn't even there yet. But by the time your letter gets there, the world as he or she knows it will have come crashing down. It will be high time for a little word or two from Mom and Dad. Not sure where to send your letter? You can contact your child's recruiter for some information, or the Public Affairs office at Great Lakes. Even if you can't send anything today, write it anyway. It will be good for your soul and you can send it tomorrow. There are two things that you should do: (1) Be positive. There's a reason why having a good cry is listed first: get the sadness out of your system and keep your letter upbeat. Re-read the beginning of this paragraph: this is as much about taking care of your recruit as it is about making yourself feel better. (2) Number the letters. There is no guarantee that letters will arrive in the order they were written or sent. A number on the letter or on the envelope lets your recruit know which order to read them.
Fourth. Set up call forwarding, and get an 800 number. This is a great recommendation that came from another mom. For the next eight weeks, your son or daughter will get very few chances to call and check in. It might be in the middle of the week. It might be on the weekend. When they do get that chance, it will be short and it is likely that there will be a lot of other young men and women waiting to use that phone. You will feel crushed if your recruit's only chance to use a phone for the week ends up going to an answering machine. Most phone plans allow you to set up call forwarding for not very much money. When you leave the house, you can forward your home phone to your cellular phone or office, or wherever you will be. Most phone companies will also allow you to attach a toll free number to your phone. It costs a bit more than some calling cards, but no matter where your child is, either during boot camp or once they are in the Navy, they can call home without worrying about how to pay for it. (And they never have an excuse for not calling...)
Fifth. Read a book. Read lots of books. Start with "Honor, Courage, and Commitment." It is a book about Navy boot camp, and some of your fears of the unknown will start to fade once you know what your child is going through. Over the coming weeks, you will be able to imagine how the days are being spent and when you finally get to meet your son or daughter again, you will at least know a little bit of what went on at Great Lakes. After Honor, Courage and Commitment, try looking into other books about the Navy. There is a professional reading list that sailors are supposed to read through in their spare time. You might want to check out some of the books that the Navy recommends for your son or daughter in the "Junior Enlisted Collection" of the Navy Professional Reading Program.
Sixth. Log on to one of the message boards for other Navy moms. There are a few of them. There are some pages at moms.navreadinglist.com, and there is also a good website at www.navy.com. You might also try www.navymoms.org or www.navymomsonline.net.
Seventh. Start thinking about graduation day. It's a little early to start making plans for graduation. You will get some information in the mail in about a month. But it's never too early to start thinking about that wonderful day when you will see your pride and joy graduating from recruit training. Graduation is enough information for an entirely different article, so we won't repeat it all here. But it's never too early to start imagining that day. One word of advice: graduation day (and weekend) is all about your sailor. As much as you probably have ideas about what you would like to do or see, it is probably a good idea to let them set the course.
Hopefully, at least one of these ideas will help this day, a big day filled with a lot of emotion, pass just a little bit easier. Any other ideas?