by Amy Weitman

Created on: December 03, 2008

Facebook Fears

I spend my free time browsing thumbnail photos on Facebook. What makes this social networker so fascinating to our generation? Are we really connecting or just passing each other in cyberspace like we once did in the halls of our high schools? For reasons still unclear I refuse to join. Does this make me the worst kind of voyeur?

Facebook is a social phenomenon. Once you join, according to the New York Times,"you may have a lifetime contract." Maybe I have a problem with long-term commitment. Hopefully, my husband will understand. But seriously, something scares me about Facebook.

One friend confides that she spends at least two hours a day, in between breastfeeding browsing various pages of old friends and foes. Today she calls to tell me that a mutualfriend, from the eight grade had twins yesterday. Photos of the birth were already posted. And I can barely get my kids out of the door in time for school. Is there something wrong with me?

"Should we send flowers?" I suggest.

My friend laughs. As do I considering that we haven't spoken to her in twenty years. However, thanks to the computer we can see the array of plastic toys currently littering her backyard.

"Just join," my friend urges.

"No," I reply not wanting to succumb to peer pressure.

"Everyone's doing it," she says.

For a moment I consider it. Yes, I'd love to view the carefully constructed lives of friends and acquaintances from years past. But what would I really see? Am I wrong to imagine that it would be one sunny vacation photo after another? Smiling children performing for a camera. One perfectly staged day in the life of...

And then how would I feel turning to face my own snot nosed kid? Or myself for that matter?

"I'll just give you my password," she says.

Great, now I'll be a peeping Tom. "No thanks," I say.

She laughs at me as I hang up the phone. That's the kind of friendship that we have. We call often and see each other as much as we can with five kids and two husbands between us. Still, she's seen me through my last elaborately staged holiday party and my fathers sudden death.

If I join Facebook today, what will everyone see? Or more importantly what will I want them to? Do I still care what others will think of me at the ripe old age of thirty five? And if not, then what's the point of it at all? Maybe I'll join tomorrow. Today I still have to take out the trash.

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