by Robin Landry

Created on: December 03, 2008   Last Updated: April 02, 2009

After hearing one of my male co-workers grousing about the senselessness of Valentine's Day, on a whim I decided to type the phrase, "Why Do Men Hate Valentine's Day" into a popular Internet search engine. I was amazed to find over 256,000 hits! How did a fun, somewhat silly little holiday designed to celebrate the joys of love and romance turn into such a major stressor (especially for men)? And what can be done to change that?

Now, I have always been a self-described "girly-girl." I love receiving fresh flowers or jewelry for all kinds of occasions, not just Valentine's Day. I have celebrated Valentine's Days past with everything from dinner out, to weekends away, to actually receiving (and accepting) a marriage proposal from my amazingly romantic husband about five years ago.

But despite all of this I guess I never really thought of Valentine's Day as little more than harmless fun. But as I started listening more closely to some of the views that other women hold regarding this "Hallmark holiday" I found myself rather shocked to discover that there are some who take the whole thing way too seriously.

For example, some years ago I had a co-worker, who could best be described as "high maintenance." One day at lunch she related a story about another friend whose husband had purchased a bouquet of flowers from a local grocery store and presented them to his wife. My first thought was, "Aw, how sweet!" so I was flabbergasted when my co-worker went on to say, "Flowers from the grocery store! I felt so BAD for her!" Huh? What? Did I miss something? Were the flowers wilted or pathetically ugly? No; but apparently my co-worker felt that because the husband didn't purchase the blooms from a pricey florist they were somehow unworthy.

Maybe I'm just too easygoing; when my friend regarded the grocery store bouquet with disdain I found myself silently praying that she would not discover that my own boyfriend at the time had once given me flowers that he picked himself from his own backyard and I actually thought they were lovely! Oh, the horror! But deep down I started to suspect that perhaps men are somewhat justified in their feelings regarding Valentine's Day, because unfortunately ladies, some of us may need to just lighten up.

I think the key to having a happy Valentine's Day is to celebrate it in a spirit of fun and to remember that the level of a man's affection for us is not necessarily best measured by the amount of money spent. My former husband was a prime example.

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