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Humor: Confessions

by Rae Anna Blake

Created on: December 03, 2008

Lindsay stared at the stark white paper in front of her, flipping her pencil back and forth. She looked at the board in the front of the classroom and again at her paper and thought to herself "Where do I even begin?" Her assignment was to write down 10 confessions and to rationalize why she did what she did and why she still feels guilty about her misgivings. Lindsay could only laugh to herself when she began to think back to all she could confess and what she should confess.

She went home and her mind was a whirlwind, this had to be the most intriguing assignment she had. Does she tell the professor that she was the one that placed the thumb tack on his chair the first day of class? It was all too funny that the man did not even realize that there was a thumb tack stuck in his behind for nearly 20 minutes as he scribbled his madness on the board while the visible red tack protruded from his excessively plump rump. Every time he turned around the class held back their giggles until he finally figured it out. Lindsay had to wonder what the professor had in his bum to keep him from feeling the pick of the tack.

What else could she confess? She could confess to torturing her younger brother, but then again didn't all big sisters do that? Granted most big sisters did not go to the extremes that Lindsay did in her quest to torment her brother. But then again, a few bugs for dinner, a little spit in the soda, a little glue on the toiletseat, a push down the stairs, who really was harmed? Lindsay laughed out loud remembering all the things she put her brother through over the years. Nah, confessing that would only tarnish her angelic reputation with her father and mother, she could not confess that.

Confessing her sins as a daughter to her parents would really be an eye opening experience. They thought she was the perfect little angel daughter, that was still pure, sweet, and innocent. She had them so fooled that she often found ways to turn herself into the victim and watched as her little brother was blamed for the pain she inflicted upon him. The list could go on and on what she could confess to them. If they only knew.............

Lindsay was the one that broke Grandma's antique lamp and blamed it on her young brother and said he was throwing a football in the house. The sad part he was to young to really defend himself. Lindsay chuckled when she thought about all the times she had pilfered through her mother's purse and pocketed a $10 or $20 and her mother never

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