by V.L. Holme

Created on: December 03, 2008   Last Updated: December 10, 2008

Is he a shy guy or is he just not interested? This question plagues all women at one time or another. As we search for that one and only, we may be left with mixed signals.

Don't pull your hair out or swear off men forever. You are not alone, as men and women communicate in very different ways. It's like learning a new language, as you learn more with every new line.

Signs the guy is not interested:

1. Suddenly changes his behavior by not calling you back and avoiding you.

2. Acts overly polite as though you were a family friend rather than a girlfriend.

3. Stops showing signs of intimacy, in the way he looks at you and in his body language.

4. Starts hanging out exclusively with the boys and *gasp* other women.

5. Says things that are rude or hurtful with no attempt at apology.

It may seem juvenile, but guys hate confrontation. They will push you away to avoid that awkward "it's not you, it's me". So we're left with all the things that aren't being said.

The shy guy is often overshadowed by the guy who "forgets" your plans. He wants to spend more time with you, but doesn't know where to start. This can be confused with a general lack of interest. But it's worth the time and effort it takes to crack that shell.

The shy guy will not take initiative, so it's up to you. And when you make your move, he'll be appreciative. He may think you are gorgeous and funny, but is completely paralyzed by fear of rejection.

So his silence is not the cold shoulder. He's embarrassed and overwhelmed, but really wants to get to know you. Guys who are ready to move on, don't get nervous like this.

Once you are with your shy guy, he'll work hard to include you in his life. It may seem gawky and weird at first, but he's trying. And the effort is precisely what is lacking with the man who has one foot out the door.

Recognize sudden avoidance as the language of disinterest. Shyness, however, is constant. If he makes quiet attempts to get your attention or get to know you, it means he's working hard to overcome his fears. Be patient and see what happens.

www.disinterestedness.com

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