by Ariele Chow

Created on: December 03, 2008

Sex - a three-letter word feared by many. A word that is feared even more is "virgin." As much as people fear losing their virginity, many are more afraid of not
losing it. In today's society, there are multitudinous reasons why someone would have sex - whether they are good reasons or not - and very few why not to fall into bed.

Everyone wants to belong somewhere so they try to fit in by any means; sometimes this includes having sex.

Lack of self-esteem is not discriminatory. It affects men and women of all ethnicities, but their reasons to have sex generally tend to divide the genders. Men tend to seek acceptance from their peers. They feel that if they turn down sex they will be viewed as less of a man.
Women tend to care about acceptance from the man she is seeing. They will often fear that if they do not sleep with him, then he will get bored and find someone who will "put out." Expectations can be detrimental in the decision process.

Where do these expectations come from? Obviously, sexual pressure is not something new. It is one of the very few things that have been passed down from generation to generation. However, today it seems more prominent than ever. The role the media plays in day-to-day life continues to grow exponentially. Television, magazines, billboards, and, worst of all, internet are just some of the ways that sexual content infiltrates vulnerable minds.

Little do people know that, if polled, many would say that they respect the choice to wait. In fact, many will even say they wish that they had waited. Not many have the willpower to be celibate. While sex is not always a bad experience, it can be. If someone feels ready for sex then that is their decision and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if a person is not ready and has sex for the wrong reasons, it will likely haunt that person forever. It takes a lot of pressure off when both partners can be honest and set boundaries before anything happens. Everyone is different, so they should know that there are different options for everyone.
Sex is not a bad thing if both partners are completely comfortable with the decision, but being a virgin is not the worst thing in the world either. In fact, it is not bad at all; it is something to be proud of.

The big question is, "Why is everyone in such a rush to have sex?" Is it curiosity? Pressure? The need to feel close to someone? How did sex snowball to become so desirable at such young ages? Perhaps, it is the magnetic attraction humans tend to have toward that which they cannot have. If the media wasn't dangling it in front of everyone's noses, it wouldn't be such a big deal. It's like if everyone in the world was born blind, nobody would be able to describe colour or appearances. One person cannot be jealous of another because he or she has the gift of sight, much like if the world were celibate no one would know what they were missing.
Of course, an entire planet being celibate is absurd because humans need to reproduce and express their love, but if the norm was to save themselves for marriage, the word "virgin" wouldn't be so scary to so many people. While celibacy is not for everyone, it should be seriously considered more often. There is no shame in virginity, nor is there shame in having sex. The main idea is to do what feels right for each individual because everyone is different, and to be proud of the decisions one makes. Be proud of who you are.

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