by Stephen South

Created on: December 03, 2008

There are three important things to remember in order to successfully maintain a relationship with your now adult child as well as anyone else in that matter. Those things are respect, communication, and humbleness.

First off, let's all just admit that as parents to their children or older siblings to their younger siblings whom they have provided for, you never want to be proven wrong. With that being said neither do they. It's as if you have been offended when they prove you wrong or attempt to continue a debate that you feel you have already won. It's only natural, but small things like this can cause a rift between you and the ones you have taken care of while they were young. My mother's lack of respect for my views, opinions, and decisions has reduced within the last year. I think it's because of the role I've taken and the way I've presented myself in that role.

I'm now twenty four years old and married with one toddler. I handle all the billing matters, bring in a steady income, care for my child, and stay faithful to my wife. My mother and I argued as if we were married from the time I was eighteen up until I moved out of the house at the age of twenty two. Of course she was wiser at the time and wiser still, but my views, opinions, and concerns were rarely addressed. I saw her lack of respect for these things as a lack of respect for me as well. Respect ties into communication because in order to fully respect someone with whom you have a relationship, a bridge of communication must be formed.

The lack of respect I feel my mother gave me as a young adult in her home was not only derived from her immediate denial to review my views, opinions, and decisions, but also her lack of an explanation as to why she wouldn't. Whenever we argued the argument would always end with her favorite quote being "Because I said so!" I mean yeah, she's my mother and she's been there to provide for me when my father hasn't, but I would have at least appreciated an explanation as to why I was wrong or why I had been denied. After engaging in an argument it's important for parents or older siblings to explain why they are right over their children or younger siblings they care for.

This not only provides the loved one with closure and enlightenment, but also calms the mood and ensures the loved one they are actually loved and respected. This is communication, and communication is very important in any type of relationship. Our lack of proper communication in the past weakened

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