by A.N. Carter

Created on: December 03, 2008

"This one time, the groom got so drunk.." This is just the kind of statement a best man should avoid when making his congratulatory speech at a wedding reception. Knowing how to put your own personality and sense of humor into the speech can be the difference between a standing ovation, and the groom's fist in your stomach.

Put some thought into your speech.

This is not the kind of thing you make up as you go. Consider what sort of tone you are going for. Will it be funny? How about heartfelt? Reflect on the couple you are speaking about. You were picked to fill this position because of how much you mean to them, so it is appropriate to return the favor. Pick up on the tone of the wedding. If the event is extremely formal, be careful not to be too inappropriate. If it is more laid back, you will probably be able to get away with a few wedding night jokes.

Put yourself into your words.

Despite television and movies, it is probably not going to be considered appropriate to allude to drunken nights of bachelordom. Try not to worry yourself with what you think they might expect of you. They picked YOU to do this speech, so they want to hear what YOU have to say. If you aren't comfortable telling jokes or reading poems, don't! The speech should feel natural and be right within your comfort level.

Spend some time surfing the internet for ready-made wedding jokes. You might come across something that seems perfect, and if it feels a little too "written," adjust it with your own personality and feelings. The last thing you want is to pick a joke and have the guests be fully aware that you did not write any of them. It will make your sentiments seem impersonal. Instead, adjust the language so that it sounds like something you would normally say, or incorporate punch lines into groom-related jokes and stories you already have.

Forming the speech.

Starting the speech with a humorous story about the couple, or the groom, is a great way to break the ice. Pick something appropriate and surprising, without commenting on how you never thought they would end up together. Rehearse the way you tell it for someone who can give you constructive feedback. Helpful suggestions will ensure that you adjust your tone and delivery just enough to make people laugh.

Ask for ideas from the bride and groom. Remember that these are suggestions, not instructions, and the ultimate decisions are up to you. They may remind you of stories and humorous incidents that you have overlooked. This can be an immense help, especially when you are experiencing writer's block or trying to understand exactly what they want from you.

The speech should be brief. Do not take too long when reaching a punch line, ending a story, or making a point. You can also find a great many suggested jokes and poems on the internet, as well as from friends of the couple. You will be ready in no time to ask the guests to raise their glasses, offer your congratulations, and drink to your toast!

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