by Virginia Gaces

Created on: December 03, 2008   Last Updated: November 24, 2011

Co-dependency is when two persons cling to each other because they have certain emotional, psychological and financial needs that are fulfilled with the presence of the other person.

Oftentimes, the relationship would be so limited there is no room for growth. How does this relate to parenting?

1. Being codependent on each other as couples, would present a weak front to the children. Children are very sensitive to things around them. They could sense when parents are not agreeing on an issue and when something is amiss or not.

This would make disciplinary actions difficult to implement when children are aware that both parents could not decide as one. To counter this, both parents should first come to one decision before facing the children and revealing what the decision is.

2. Co-dependency also breeds mistrust and emotional instability. There is an emotional deficiency in either of the partners so that they do not have the ability of nurturing emotionally stable children. Their children grow up in an environment of instability and emotional stress.

3. There will be constant excuses for bad deeds and excuses to cover them up. This would not allow the person to change for the better. Children would think that making mistakes over and over is acceptable; that they have no responsibility to change and become better persons.

4. Children would find it difficult to live independently, when they leave home. This is because they were trained to depend on other people for any need that they have. They are unable to stand alone and live for themselves.

5. Having relationships outside of the home would be difficult for them as they do not know how to be their own man. They do not know how to be intimate with another person. This would bring problems into any relationship they would enter into.

6. They tend to be distrustful and wary of other people because of their need to control or be controlled. Members of the family would then be insincere with each other leading to mistrust and depression.

7. They do things because they want to please other people. They do not do things because they want to. This would bring problems to the person as eventually it would lead to self-hatred for not being able to say no.
This would lead to family problems.

Co dependent persons; therefore, should seek help from an expert. It is considered by knowledgeable people as a condition which needs treatment. If you find your children or spouse being mistrustful, wanting to please everyone, not being able to say no, overly-demanding or clinging and always making excuses for unpleasant or bad behavior, then you have to consult a psychologist or psychiatrist.

It would be difficult to perform the responsibilities of parenting if both you and your spouse or any of your children are co-dependents.

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