by Kris Olds

Created on: December 02, 2008

Don't wear black to a wedding. The brides family sits on the left. The Best Man has to be a man. Many wedding traditions are becoming non-traditional. Why should gender dictate the person who will stand beside you when you make your promises to love, honor and obey? Even the most conservative of families will smile when seeing the "Best Man" who has been the buddy since elementary school or the college friend who was there through all the heartbreaks.

Best Man is a semantical title. Historically speaking, the role of the Best Man was to marry the bride if the groom died or was unable to maintain his spousal responsibilities. The job has morphed into making sure the rings are at the ceremony, a party is held in the groom's honor and that the grooms socks match on the big day. These are skills that women have been cultivating for years. There's no question that a woman is qualified to stand next to the groom and offer her help and support through all the trials and tribulations of wedding planning.

When it comes to apparel, dressing in black to match the other groomsmen can be a fashion opportunity. In the event that the bridal party is more colorful in nature, finding a complimenting dress to the bridesmaids can be a fun adventure. The role of all attendants, male or female, is to provide a backdrop so that the bride and groom stand out on their special day. There is nothing gender specific about that.

Having a woman as a Best Man can also offer a unique perspective into the whole wedding experience. It's not a secret nor a surprise that women and men often view nuptials in different ways. Having a female friend who is aware of all the details but is not the bride may be able to offer a fresh view on issues as they arise. The Best Person is a friend to the groom, probably one of his best friends, but (hopefully) isn't in love with him. She will know him well enough to help him through the process if he starts to struggle.

Having a gender-neutral wedding party can add a fresh twist to the big day. As all weddings should be about the bride and groom having the day that best represents them, having a woman for a Best Man is not an issue to lose sleep over. With the emphasis being on the couple who loves each other, having friends and family who support them, regardless of gender, will make the wedding day, and the marriage itself, one to remember.

Learn more about this author, Kris Olds.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.