by Kelly Ismail

Created on: December 02, 2008   Last Updated: August 29, 2010

Lying is a lesson we learn about as young kids. It is part of the learning process as we are growing up. It came with consequences that made us learn the lesson even quicker from long lectures about how honesty and truth were characteristics to be cherished and it came with losing privileges to drive the point home. It something that we all must learn. Generally, when we learned this we also learned about how it felt to be lied to and so it becomes a quality that we learn is not something we should expect and that truth is valued above all else. Lying is born of a circle that eventually will come around to a truth that must be told. It is inevitable and though sometimes people can keep the lie going over a great amount of time, the circle will come round and all is exposed.

As adults, when we are told lies by other adults they are more complex and the consequences can live forever. The lies can be mortally wounding and the implications can last a lifetime. I learned this one all too well from my first marriage. I learned that my first marriage was a complete lie but didn't find it out until the circle was forced to a close by God. I was a single mother, in my early twenties, to a one year old son when I met a man who was ten years older than me. I thought I met the man of my dreams. We dated for awhile and when things started getting very serious, he told me he had cancer and a heart condition. He said he wanted me to know so that I could make the decision to stay with him. I loved him and so I said that wasn't a problem for me and I promised to take care of him no matter what.

We decided to get married and we had a daughter. I was used to him going to the doctor every week and I always asked him if I could go with him, but he always said no. He always came home from his appointments with news about his cancer, improvements in his heart condition, or some other thing they were watching. This was normal so I thought. In our second year of marriage, I noticed that his health was getting worse. He had started losing weight and quit working as much. We had bills and a mortgage so I had to work double shifts at a nursing home to make ends meet.

One day when I came home from work, my husband couldn't walk from our living room to the bedroom without gasping for breath. I told him we should go to the emergency room but he refused. In my mind, I had come to the conclusion his cancer had gotten worse and he just hadn't the heart to tell me. I called his parents

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