by Joanne Smedley

Created on: December 02, 2008   Last Updated: May 27, 2011

Watching body language is the key to resolving whether the guy you are talking to is shy or simply not interested.

Research has suggested that over 60% of all communication is non-verbal, so what does your prospective date's body language tell you?

EYES

Firstly: are they watching you? How much attention are they giving you? Do you catch them looking at you when you aren't talking to them? Do they keep their attention on you when you are talking?

Being the centre of someone's attention is a clear indicator on how interested they may be in pursuing a relationship.

If you catch their eyes, watch what happens. A shy guy may avert their eyes, then glance back quickly to see if you are still looking at them. A guy who is not interested will not try to regain the eye contact. He will simply look away and find something else to focus on.

MOUTH

Does your prospective date smile a lot? Do they appear eager to please? Are they quick to mirror to your own facial gestures, smiling when you smile, and frowning when you frown - it's another sure sign they are concentrating on you.

Do they have any nervous affectations like lip biting, resting their finger on their lips, or licking them - all of these can be signs that they might be interested in much more than just simply talking to you.

HANDS

Do they find ways to touch you? Or are they crossed, withdrawn? Are they fiddling nervously, or clenched in an irritated manner? Are the gestures they make open and inviting or aggressive?

The hands are a very expressive tool and will give you many clues as to how your prospective date is feeling about you.

BODY POSTURE

Just like pairing birds, prospective partners run through a similar "mating" dance by mirroring their partner's body posture. Look at how they are sitting, are they sitting in the same way as you, do they lean forwards when you lean forwards, do they cross their legs when you do? If the guy is copying your body movements, you will feel naturally at ease in their presence and relaxed, if they aren't then you will feel ill at ease, you may even find that you are the one copying their posture. Test it - who is leading who?

Also, don't forget to keep a look out for the "closed" postures, folded arms, crossed legs, leaning away, gestures that put distance between you. A guy that puts distance between you is definitely not interested in pursuing a relationship.

AND FINALLY - WHAT ARE THEY ACTUALLY SAYING?

When it finally comes to speaking to them - look at what is your prospective date actually saying. Are you merely chatting or are they paying you personal compliments, or making comments personal. A person who is interested in pursuing a relationship with you will make even conversational comments personal. e.g. "You are very funny" rather than "That's very funny" - it's all in how they phrase it. Of course when someone who is always flattering you it's a dead giveaway that they are looking for a date, but look out for the shy guy who is paying attention to you by phrasing his sentences around you rather than using chat up lines or flattery.

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