by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: December 02, 2008   Last Updated: May 14, 2012

Cultivate listening as it is an effective communication tool. Listening is not always easy as it requires active participation. Some folks focus so intently on what they plan to say they do not always listen, which can be unnerving to the speaker. To assure others you are actively engaged in the conversation, lean forward slightly as you look at the speaker(s) and nod in understanding as you grasp what is being said. You will make a lasting impression and it will show you are interested in what is being said or discussed.

Stay up to date on current affairs, but do not be a know it all. There are those who say a great conversationalist stays away from politics, sex and religion. There may be an element of truth in that suggestion as many folks have very entrenched convictions about each topic. Do do strive to know what is going on both nationally and internationally on every topic.

Read good books, especially those that require you to reason and use critical thinking. You might want to re-acquaint yourself with some of those written by the great philosophers who helped shaped many of the thought processes in the social and class structures of western society. For example, what can be more interesting than discussing Sren Aabye Kierkegaard, who was purported to be a witty and amusing conversationalist, but privately suffered severe bouts of melancholy and depression.

Get involved so you will have opportunities to meet local movers and shakers. Do not name drop. Discuss causes with high-end appeal in which you have been involved and others will probably not only think you are smart, but will also envy you.

Discover ways to get the best deals whether it's buying clothes and cars, or stocks and investments. You will impress others when they discover you paid much less than what was expected, especially if  you were great at haggling. Express how ingenious you were in getting the best bargain, but do not boast.

Dress stylish and with panache. Unfortunately, folks tend to think if one dresses well, he or she is smart, which gives you an additional edge. Cultivate some unique mannerism that is all yours.

Travel to exciting and exotic places, but do not boast about them. Others will think you are a cosmopolite and a sophisticate, which many will equate with smartness.

Do not argue as it tends to make you prosaic and ordinary; you may lose the flair you have cultivated. Most smart folks will simply end a circular conversation by stating "let's agree to disagree" and move on. When this happens, say something positive about the individual to whom you are speaking. For example, if you can remember a conversation the two of you had in the past that ended on a positive note you might want to resurrect it.

Always make eye contact, which will make you appear self-confident and self-possessed.

Always stand erect. If you are height challenged, project tallness and others will ignore your shorter stature.

Always smile and others will assume you are naturally smart unless you speak unwisely and prove them wrong.

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