by Cheryl Burger

Created on: December 02, 2008

Dreams! What a word, and place we all go to in soma. Why not when we are awake? Oh there are those that day dream, but that is not the same. I must admit, I am as guilty of daydreaming, as much or more than most children in a classroom with a boring instructor. I think back when I was able to do so much more than I am capable of now, due to my health. But, the times I spend at this marvelous keyboard, I must admit...I daydream, but I pray more for a good nights sleep with a dream where I can walk or do what others take for granted!

This time of year most people are in a hustled state, to get whatever it is they think they must get their loved ones, and place under their tree. All lit up and so pretty. My husband asks me what I want for Christmas, and what I want, no one can offer me. It is a double lung transplant! I want to get breathless, and run in the snow and build a snowman. To go dancing and to even have a glass of wine, and perhaps get silly as a little girl, and just laugh my tush off. I want to run, to fly, and to conquer great things, and I can do this, but only in my dreams. I wait to see if I am going to be surprised with a miracle, and have someone tell me they will give me a set of lungs, not a pair of diamond earrings, for they would pale in the same light, to me anyway. For I know things most humans don't know and learned way too early in life.

I ask for a Christmas dream to be me, the day before I was told I had lung cancer! I would go as far as I could and scream as loud as anyone ever had the capacity to do so, and just wale in my tears. I have never missed anything more than a dream in a sleep of wellness, and not one of a medicated sleep. As different as night and day for sure. I yearn for the night I do not have to swallow a palm full of meds to help me sleep, and to "drop" into sleep, and I want to fall slowly. And like you can feel sometimes when you all of a sudden, catch yourself as you are falling deep into slumber, but it feels so good as you know this sleep thing is so......wonderful and it feels so good. Then to top it off the dream, a good one, an exciting one or even one that awakens you with your pulse pounding out of your neck and chest, it makes you feel alive doesn't it?

I can not think of anything other than a good dream that can compare to anything in life. Are they real or have we done these things before? Of course we have not been able to fly ,but some of my dreams I have been able to feel in total control, and I feel the better when I awake. But, I now have dreams that do not allow me the pleasure of feeling the stimulus that my dreams of past have done for me. Have I lived so long my dreams are outlived? Do I wish I could be one of those winners on the Fox network with the surprise millionaire, that will knock on my door, and tell me that they are going to give me my dream come true, my lungs that I am longing for, but only in a dream!

What I really want is to have all my loved ones with me, a cup of hot tea and a real Christmas tree, like the trees I have in my memory, and that I still dream of this time of year. So dreams are a wonderful thing aren't they? A way to have our brains unload a lot of files that we don't need any longer, and the ones that we do want are kept deep in the folds of our brains. Yet, dreams are a gift of unknown origin, and where they take you is up to your body and your mind, and just how in sink they both are through this journey... we call dreams.

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