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Parenting is a wonderful thing but it also is a huge responsibility. At times you may feel you are losing control and that your life is becoming unmanageable.

You may feel somewhat powerless over your children's behavior or the chaos that results. However, there is no 12-step program available to help provide an action plan to address certain issues. While there are no guiding principles to parenting, good common-sense, though, can go a long way.

If you are looking for 12 steps to take to improve your parenting, a few suggestions are outlined below. Prior to step 1, though, is admitting you need a little help. Once you are open to some guidance, you are on the path to parenting recovery, which will allow you one-day-at-a-time to be a more effective parent.

Step 1 - Admit that you are powerless over some of the behaviors of your children. While you can offer guidance and can discipline your kids, the reality is that you are not in complete control over what your kids will do. The sooner you accept that, the better you can cope.

Step 2 - Choose a parenting style that is conducted in love. Love can be many things, as indicated in Corinthians. Be sure to act in love toward your children, even when loving them requires punishing them to teach them consequences for their behaviors.

Step 3 - Remember that you are the parent. Too many parents strive to be their children's friends. Two words for that are: big mistake.

Step 4 - Start each day in prayer or meditation, seeking guidance from God to help you make wise decisions throughout the day. Relying too much on self or others will disappoint.

Step 5 - Remember to keep things in perspective. While kids are wonderful and bring great joy, they can also be frustrating as any parent can attest. When your kids make mistakes or knock off the vase or spill milk all over the carpet, try to keep perspective.

Step 6 - Exercise. Stay in shape physically, and you will be more on top of your parenting game. And, of course working out is a great stress reliever.

Step 7 - Do not be afraid to enforce the rules. Refer to Step 3. As the parent, part of your responsibility is to set rules and to enforce them. Unruly children will have problems later in life because they will develop the idea that rules do not apply to them.

Step 8 - Eat well. Remember to eat well, as nutritious choices can help improve your moods.

Step 9 - When in doubt, seek counsel from other parents. Parenting is a great adventure. Do not be embarrassed if there is something you do not know. Talk to a trusted friend when you need parenting support.

Step 10 - Make time for grown-up things. While your children will be a huge part of your life, try to make time for some adult time. Hire a sitter on occasion and go on a date. Go to see the latest movie. Join a book club so once a month you can have literary discussions.

Step 11 - Before bed, review your day. It's smart to quickly assess your day in the evening. Think about what you perhaps would have done differently, and be grateful for the things that went well.

Step 12 - Enjoy yourself. Your children will one day leave the nest. Try to enjoy them while you have time with them. While each day may not be ideal, try to appreciate some of the special moments.

Hopefully, these 12-principles will provide some food for thought for a few parents out there. Parenting is a journey, at times a challenging one, but it is certainly rewarding as well.

Learn more about this author, Ann E. Smith.
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