Have you ever tried to fit a square peg into a round hole? You turn it this way, and manipulate it that way to no avail. In the process the peg may become worn or maybe even splinter due to all the mishandling you've put it through. In the end, the peg won't fit because it was designed to fit into a square hole, not a round one. Sometimes, when we expect our children to be like we are, we end up treating them the same way we treat the peg.
When we try to make a child become something he / she isn't, we end up failing ourselves and depriving the child of the chance to develop into the person they naturally are; this includes expecting them to be like us. We aren't the same as the person sitting in the cubicle next to us a work, or the person who delivers our mail each day. We aren't like anyone else walking the earth; and neither are our children. When we attempt to conform and transform them into our likeness, problems can arise; some of them insurmountable.
LACK OF SELF IDENTIFICATION
When a person is made to conform to what another believes he should be, they will eventually lose sight of their own personal identity, and over time will give up trying to define it. They become your child or the big sister or the neighbor's kid. They don't see themselves in any self-identifying way. This can lead to other problems.
INABILITY TO SELF-REASON
If you are repeatedly told you are this and should act like that or feel this way rather than that way, you will inevitably stop trying to determine how you, as an individual, feel you should behave or respond in a given situation. Instead you'll simply look to the person who is molding you into their likeness for the answer; without any attempt to reason it out yourself.
LACK OF SELF-MOTIVATION
What if, as a young child, you dreamed of becoming an artist or owning your own business? Now imagine someone tells you your aspirations are just ridiculous, and not achievable, because you lack what it takes to make them come true? If it's your parents, and they've told you this throughout your childhood, there's a good chance you'll believe them and give up reaching for your goals. Instead you'll look to them to decide what you should make of yourself; in essence they'll replace the desires you have for yourself with the desires they have for you.
REBELLION
Some children, it seems from the time they are born, exhibit characteristics of what type of person they'll eventually become. Try as you may to change them into who you feel they should be, you fail and in the process the child rebels against your attempts to make them into the likeness of yourself. This can lead to major communication break downs between you both that sometimes are never repaired.
DISAPPIONTMENT
Believing our children will become like us can turn out to be a big disappointment when they don't. And, if they realize how they've disappointed you, they can become disappointed with themselves for not meeting your expectations. It's a vicious cycle that can only be avoided by placing no expectations on our children that they become like we are.
That doesn't mean we aren't the type of person worth being like. It just means we are confident enough in ourselves, our abilities and our motives to act a certain way, and silently hope they will, someday, do the same.
Children are as unique as the snowflakes that fall in the winter. And, they're supposed to be that way; we all are. Attempting to force someone's identity on them will only result in failure; either for them becoming the unique individual they were destined to become or for yourself when your efforts create an immovable wedge in your relationship with them.
Wanting your child to follow in your footsteps is normal, but so is your child trying to discover their own individuality. It's ok to teach them what you believe they need to know in order to successfully navigate through life. But, instead of shoving it down their throats or forcing them to conform, just be there to help them back onto their feet when they fall.
Helping others when they are down and out is one lesson any parent can teach a child, simply by doing it.