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I never saw it coming, literally. My ex and I had decided to be friends in part because we lived close to each other, as in the same building. After stumbling across each other a few times at the mailbox, we decided that it made sense to hang out every now and then, especially since we had a fairly long history together. My friends were all shocked at the decision. After all, this was a guy that broke up with me in a text message just weeks after meeting my parents. I saw things differently because I was with a new guy, someone who made me feel good about myself and my ex was single and fairly lonely.

We started out slow by hanging out every few weeks, but once my relationship failed, we started to lean on each other a lot more. We spent a few nights every week hanging out in one of our apartments, watching movies and doing a lot of talking. He told me about the girl he left me for, the same girl who broke his heart and hurt him more than anyone ever had. We shared our dreams, wishes, hopes and desires and yet I still didn't see it coming.

One night we were sitting in the middle of my living room and he looked at me as he told me I was his best friend. I laughed it off, telling him that he was crazy and I already had one of those. He pressed the subject, making me realize that while I was sitting around talking to him, my real best friend was living several states away and probably wondering what happened to me since I hadn't called in a couple of weeks. That's also when I realized that he really was my best friend.

Being best friends with your ex is entirely possible, but it takes time. You can't expect to breakup with someone on a Wednesday and be friends by the weekend; it just doesn't happen. You both have to take time to get over the hurt, date other people and move on with your life. More importantly, you have to get over any feelings that you once had for that person. You can love them like you would a friend, but you can't be in love with them.

I still consider that ex one of my best friends and I know that he feels the same way about me. It's something that we talked about fairly recently and it made us realize how strange our relationship is to other people. Others would look at us and laugh if they knew our whole sordid history. Yet somehow it seems perfectly natural to us. We once shared a bed together, but now we share our lives together.

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Eblin.
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