by Lisa Wildin

Created on: December 01, 2008   Last Updated: December 16, 2008

We live in a world where there is negative everywhere we look, on the news, on family programs, even in our own backyards. It is essential to have positive reinforcement for everyone especially a child to have the foundation to lead a successful life.

Children need to know they are loved unconditionally. They don't know that unless we tell them, teach them and most importantly show them. This is where the positive reinforcement comes into play.

Catch your child being good and give them hugs, give them attention, give them love. Studies show that when a child is "caught" being good they do more to be "caught" at. We all love attention and if we give that positive attention for the good behavior children will respond by doing more positive things. When they do their chores without being asked, or just do what they are supposed to be doing, praise them, play with them, give them rewards if that is the system you have chosen, but give them that loving positive attention they so want.

In this day and age it may seem a little difficult to come home from work and be positive with anything, but it is very important. Have some positive communication with you child. Let them know that you are there for them, no matter what. Listen to them, really listen. Let them finish their sentences and hear what they are saying. Do not judge but find the positive in the conversation and build on that.

When you are able to communicate more on a positive level you will find it much easier for your child to make better choices and to come to you easier when they are faced with some of the more difficult choices the world has to offer them.

They need that positive reinforcement to know they are truly loved and accepted no matter what. Let your child learn to look forward to the rewards of positive behavior instead of fearing the consequences of negative behavior.

Discipline seems to usually be given out by many parents in moments of anger, if we can step back, breath...know the what and the why we are angry with and deal with the problem in a more rational view children would be much better off. Consider why they did what they did, was it a call for attention? Do you give them more attention for doing wrong than doing right? Are you wrapped up in your own stress that you cannot see what they are doing? Are the family dynamics changing? Is there a problem at school, with a classmate, teacher, girl or boy friend?

Children need to know what is expected of them, and one would be amazed at how children just want to make their parents happy. Let them know what is expected and praise them for it, give them a hug, pat on the back or high five, depending on the age.

Positive reinforcement is very important in developing your child's building blocks, have you hugged your child today?

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