by Sherri Woodbridge

Created on: December 01, 2008   Last Updated: October 11, 2010

It's a fairly common fact, that a man is drawn to women who often resemble (in character), his mother. He is often drawn to some of the same qualities that his mother possesses, whether he realizes it or not. It is also a common fact that the relationship between the woman who raised him and the woman he married is known for being a difficult one.

When we find it difficult to get along with someone, we often think it's the other person's problem.

On the hit TV show, "Everybody Loves Raymond", a great example of constantly trying to get along between Marie (the mother in-law and Debra, the daughter in-law, is obvious. Debra's the one always trying to make things better between her and her mother in-law, whereas Marie, always considers her daughter in-law Debra to be the problem. The problem is, Debra just isn't good enough for Marie's son and Marie feels it her duty to pick out all the negative qualities in her daughter in-law, perhaps in an attempt to improve her. Whatever the reason or motive, the relationship between these two is a great picture of how not to build a lifelong relationship with your daughter in-law.

Many times the root problem between these two women is jealousy. Mom resents the other woman who has stolen her son's affections away from her. Daughter really hasn't considered that, as she is lost in the blinders of love and feels like mom just doesn't like her.

Jealousy can breed hatred and Moms... you want to steer clear of that. The mother in-law knows her son. She nurtured him, cuddled him, kissed his scraped knees, held him when he was sick and loved him back to health. The daughter in-law thinks she knows her husband just as well. She has dated him, knows his favorite color, watched a few movies together and they got hitched. Both know him, but at a different level, both in a different way.

So mom, what do you do? Your little boy grew up and gave his heart away to another woman. So, now what do you do? First off, be thankful you raised a man who is responsible and loves his wife. She's the one he's chosen.

Are there issues where apologies may be in order? It's difficult to begin building a relationship when the foundation is rocky. You may need to go to your daughter in-law and ask forgiveness for something in the past before you can begin rebuilding the present.

Perhaps she's done something you can't forgive her for. My not forgiving, you are the one who faces each day with bitterness and resentment. Is she the kind of woman who would

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