by Lindsey Linge

Created on: November 30, 2008

The mortality rate of anorexia nervosa, commonly referred to as anorexia, is the highest of any mental illness. Roughly half of the deaths are due to suicide. But it is sometimes hard to tell who has anorexia because many of those who are suffering take lots of efforts to hide their disorder. As a boyfriend, fiance, or husband, you are in a unique position to have a more intimate view of a woman's life. You can be the person who uncovers the illness and perhaps the one that can have the greatest influence on getting your loved one help.

At the heart of anorexia there is an obsession with weight. The thought of gaining even a pound can create intense feelings of fear. It doesn't matter how much she weighs, it will never be low enough. If your girlfriend is always trying to reach some goal, take note. Maybe she says she wants to lose five pounds, but when she does, she wants to lose another five. Or maybe she makes strict rules about how many calories she will eat on a given days, and those numbers can be disturbingly low. Listen for these things they may be your first sign.

While the obsession with weight is an early indicator that someone is becoming anorexic, her body weight has to be 85% less than what is expected for her size. In practical terms, that usually is considered to be a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 17.5 or less. She will also most likely deny that this is something serious and might blow off a comment about how thin she is by saying that there are plenty of girls who are skinnier.

In addition to becoming extra thin, there are other changes that can occur to the body. She might develop fine, thin hair over the body called lanugo hair. Her skin might be dry and cold. Her hair could start falling out and her teeth might decay. Anorexia has never been pretty.

Most likely, if your girlfriend is anorexic, she will be very dissatisfied with her appearance. She might complain about how certain parts of her body look. Maybe she'll say that her arms or her thighs are too thick. Perhaps she'll point out some "roll of fat" that isn't even really there. How she views herself will be overly focused on her appearance instead of balancing it healthily with things like her skills, talents, intelligence or personality.

If you always know when she's at "that time of the month," be sure to take note of if her period stops. A symptom of anorexia is missing three consecutive periods. This doesn't mean that she won't have some of the typical PMS feelings, however. Anorexia deprives

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