by Nessa Sloley

Created on: November 30, 2008

IF YOU EVER suspect a "female" online of being a male, just discuss the finer points of your problem periods with "her" and ask for "her" thoughts on them.

A man will be sick and give up on you.

Of course if she really is a she, you may then have a friend for life who'll tell you her most intimate secrets!

But that is relevant.

There wouldn't normally be a need to resort to that. Most of us are who we say we are simply because we wouldn't have the time, the inclination, the imagination - or the sadness! - necessary to lie.

Of course we do all have the ABILITY to lead a fantasy life on the net, and I'm sure we'd each be lying if we said we'd never exaggerated the truth, particularly when writing articles. We even do it in everyday life, to sound 'cool' or 'strong' in front of people we either admire or are jealous of.

The net therefore need be no different than real life. And for most of us it isn't.

However, before I lull everyone (including myself!) into a false sense of security, this IS a delicate subject and I can't emphasise enough that no-one should EVER believe 100% in anything an EMOP (EMail Only Pal) tells them.

Tread carefully: if you're having a friendly conversation with a female and "she" starts getting a little TOO friendly ("what kind of boys do you like?"; "do you wear knickers or a thong?"), put the brake on! It COULD be innocent girl-to-girl interest, but do NOT answer.

OK know I'm being cagey and sounding like a government-sponsored 'information' film, but I know - from horrible experience - that people can be b-. Well, let's just say 'not very nice'.

Now, back to what I was saying about girl-to-girl interest: it's said that if a man impersonates a woman it's a means to an end. I don't believe that's necessarily true.

Yes, some men befriend girls (in real life as on the net) because they want to get into their pants, but it can just be for the camaraderie that we seem to have. We are automatically (not surprisingly) friendlier to members of our own sex, not simply because we have less to fear, but because we like to talk to each other about EVERYTHING. No subject is out of bounds. If I see a cute man, have an uncomfortable period, or scrape my car's fender, I'll seek out a friend to share it with. On the whole men doing the equivalent most certainly WON'T!

But some men want to talk. And they feel the only way to do so is to pretend that they're women because they believe they'll be ridiculed if they talk as men.

The truth is though that it's other men who'll ridicule them, not us!

Yet again, everyone is being put down by male attitudes.

OK, it may seem as if I've strayed from determining gender online, but my conclusion is that WE need to establish feminine values everywhere (especially on the net) to prevent there ever being a need for a person to misepresent their gender.

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