by Theresa Carbone

Created on: November 30, 2008

Dear God,

Do you hear me? Do you hear my cries? Do you hear my desperation? I need you now more than ever. I need your guidance, your encouragement. I need to know you are listening. I am not who I'm supposed to be. I feel I have no diresction. I do not know where I belong in this world. You've given my life and left me flat on my behind. What do I do with it? Where do I go from here? Out on my own, I don't even know how to pay a bill. I don't know how to raise my son to be a man. You are slowly taking his father. The cancer is spreading. If you need him that bad, just take him, don't let him suffer. And why do you put these pitiful people in my life. People I can learn nothing from. Can't you just drop a million dollars from the sky and let me leave this horrible place? I need new surroundings, new culture, a better home for my son to grow up in. Why is everything a challenge? Why do you keep throwing these curveballs my way? Why entice me with some normalcy and then rip it form my grasp? Why do I not know how to function normally? Why do I not a have an extraordinary talent? Maybe I ask too many questions. Maybe its hard to sift through and answer the most important ones. Maybe I've just been wrong all along. Maybe you don't exist. Maybe, I don't exist. Maybe I conjured up this while imaginary life and I'm actually living normal in some far off country. Maybe I have lost my faith. Everyone is taken from me. Not just physically, emotionally as well. I am disconnected from my old life, from my happier times. I'm not the brightest child in the class anymore. I don't have the same talent for writing. I don't believe that I can be whatever I want to be. Please let you be real. Please let me know you are real. If you are and you are listening I need you, please save me from this blackhole, you've called life.

Learn more about this author, Theresa Carbone.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.