by Christianna Garrett-Martin

Created on: November 30, 2008   Last Updated: December 30, 2008

- ONLINE CHEATING - CYBER CHEATING -

= Or: How to deceive your partner in 5 easy lessons =

What is appropriate and what is not appropriate when you are in a relationship? Can contact by chatting with the opposite sex online be construed as cheating'? After all, a computer is only a machine, not flesh and blood. How can striking up an online relationship be seen as cheating?

As far as I am concerned it can be; and very damaging it is too, in many ways. Though a grey area, emailing and messaging a member of the opposite sex other than your partner, can be very destructive; a betrayal of trust, a deceit and an abuse of the sanctity of a relationship.

It is not so much the act of messaging that is the problem; it is the secretive nature in which it is carried out. Usually behind your back when you are not present. Rendering the chatting to much more than just harmless by the way it is performed and by the thought process behind the action.

The very fact that a partner feels the need to have regular contact with another member of the opposite sex, other than his partner is entirely inappropriate and can be seen as a form of cheating.

In online relationships I feel it is far worse a betrayal than the physical, because it involves the mind and the emotions. You are becoming emotionally involved with another. You are sharing private conversations and thoughts, moments and feelings; and as time progresses, so does the relationship. Any regular form of contact is bonding as you get to know more and more about each other, and this can lead to an even greater betrayal.

From the talking, the next step in unfaithfulness is the texting of the person you are becoming closer to. This normally follows prolonged periods of conversation online. It is the next natural step in the online cheating cycle. So you could look upon this courting ritual pretty much the same as cheating offline.

Relationships don't stay on one level, they progress, and this is the very danger of striking up relationships online. Not a problem if you are single, but a very real and definite problem if you are not. Chatting online can lead to flirting, and that is definitely not acceptable when you are in a close relationship, and flirting can lead to so much more.

Online cheating is insidious. It is not visible yet it can cause irreparable damage in some instances. The betrayal felt is just the same as if there was a physical presence involved, sometimes even greater, as your opponent is not visible, more an object

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