by Edward Flynn

Created on: November 30, 2008

The Shopping Trolley (a true story!)

Christmas shopping... It was about six years ago but nonetheless, it is indelibly marked on my memory. It was Christmas eve, a sharp and frosty evening and there were a few things needed in order to make the next day everything we hoped it would be. A trip to the local Tesco supermarket was called for.

I soon realised that I was not the only person with the same thought in mind, it was very, very busy. After jostling for a space in the crowded car park I made my way into the store, dodging irate and frustrated drivers as I did so. Quickly grabbing the nearest trolley I started up the aisle only to realise that I had in my possession the shopping trolley from hell No matter which way I pushed it, the trolley was determined to go off at a tangent. Not just any tangent, I hasten to add, but it seemed to be directly targeting the ankles of the shopping throng around me. Commonsense should have prevailed and I should have taken the trolley back and secured another one. Instead grim determination prevailed instead, and rather than push back through the crowds entering the store, I went forward, the demon-possessed trolley largely dictating the route I took through, or rather into the crowds before me. I was going to tame this bugger if it killed me!

Onward I went, filling the trolley with various goods as I did so until I arrived at a certain point in the store. Could someone please explain to me why the staff at these supermarket take great delight in stacking up their products at the end of the shopping aisles in some kind of pyramid like display?

The particular pyramid I had arrived at just happened to be build of large jars of Cranberry Sauce. My shopping trolley, fully aware of this, so it seemed, seized the moment and took a lunge to the left. Wrestling to control the thing, I almost managed to bring it back into line. Unfortunately though, the front wheel of the trolley clipped the bottom corner of the display, knocking one of the jars out from under the pile.

This was the moment that everything went into slow motion. The stack began to crumble to the floor. There was a huge crash as jars of cranberry sauce came tumbling down and went rolling in all directions. A hush descended and the only sound that could be heard was the music being played over the loudspeaker system:- 'Oh I wish it Could be Christmas Every Day,' as the crowd around the area all turned to look. Every eye was upon me and there I was in a sea of broken glass and cranberry sauce, struggling to retain my footing on the what was now, very slippery floor. Panic! BIG PANIC! What could I do? I gathered my thoughts and fled the scene leaving the trolley and all of it's contents where they stood. I am convinced to this day that the trolley took a stance that declared to the onlookers... Victory!

I left the store without my shopping, and fearful of what my fate would be if I returned empty handed, I went instead to Sainsbury's where the trolleys are much tamer and far more civilised.

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