by Elaine Sihera

Created on: November 29, 2008

Do you feel dissatisfied with your life at the moment? (Asked by a 20 year old having some relationship problems)

Nope, not for me, as I have a great purpose in life and feel fulfilled. But you are just starting out on your journey so I can see why you would feel like that from what you have said.

I feel extremely happy at the moment but it could be because I am much older than you, I have been through your angst and worries and have come out the other side learning one key thing: It is pointless being unhappy or worrying about life because it ALWAYS sorts itself out to suit itself in the end, whether we like it or not!

You are unhappy because you had a lot of expectations about life which have not been fulfilled and you probably feel trapped by your relationship. But life does not just conform to expectations. It is something that happens when we are busy planning otherwise! So the best way to live life is to take it as it comes, don't try to control it too much and allow it to give you some surprises. They are usually awesome. It also means taking responsibility for your life so you have to act if you want any change. Your boyfriend won't do it for you.

People who try to control their existence too much are always disappointed because they leave nothing to chance and arrange their life too tightly. They do not take account of tragedies, crises or the unexpected happening, hence why they feel really bad when they reach a certain point and what they hoped for isn't there. Happiness for me comes from one thing each day: opening my eyes and realising that I am still alive when many people, including close relatives, have been denied that life and I am still there.

By the way, you should not let anyone keep you away from your dreams. You can always get another boyfriend but it is very important that life at a young age is lived. That's the age of discovery and experiment. You are probably unhappy because you are doing something deep down you don't want to do and resenting the fact that what you would really like you are currently missing out on. Stop a moment and ask yourself what you truly desire and how you can get it, because you will never be happy if you don't allow yourself to fulfil your potential simply because of being with someone or weighed down with work.

Additionally, you have a long time left to achieve what you wish for in your life. Just because it doesn't happen when you think doesn't mean you won't get it. Just keep working at, keep reviewing your situation and work a step at a time. Only you can change your situation and your feeling, no one else. If you have the courage to make that change, you could be very surprised at the results. I hope things perk up for you soon.

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