by Polly Ebbinger

Created on: November 29, 2008

While there was a time when simply saying the word "feminist" would spark arguments among men and women alike, it has in recent history lost much of its ability to create a stir among anyone. We hear far more about terrorism and gay rights now than we do about the need for feminist-inspired changes to our society. This has come about because there was a time when feminism very negatively affected a woman's ability and desire to truly balance family needs with a career.

During the 1970s and 1980s, the power of feminism as a movement across the general population seemed to reach its peak. Women implanted themselves quite deeply in all areas of the economy. While women in the United States have always worked outside the home, other than perhaps the need for women to work during World War II, the 1970s and 1980s brought a new societal push for women to work outside the home. Our mothers often held jobs in addition to completing all the necessary household functions; yet, at the same time, many men still felt that the household chores were "women's work" and failed to step up to provide assistance in completing the required daily work.

Having watched my mother work throughout the 1970s and 1980s, I felt that my only option was to do the same. I went to college. I got married. I worked-at first just to work and, eventually, to pursue a career. I had children. I tried to juggle my career with my household. I began to feel that I was failing miserably, not because I was any worse at what juggling than my mother but because society seemed to be putting forth a double-standard. The expectation was to have a fulfilling career with numerous advancements and salary increases, while still providing a home where meals were cooked and on the table every night, the children were bathed, and family time was possible. The more I worked and advanced in my career, the more I felt my household falling apart.

Eventually, I began to think that our perception of feminism is distorted almost beyond recognition from the original intent of the feminist movement. We have allowed feminism to become a contest between men and women for who is the superior being which prods women especially to try to be everything to their families and employers. Because we have now accomplished much of the original goal of feminism, we need to return to a less combative form of feminism that actually prizes men and women as the individual beings that they are with separate although related purposes in society.

Only when we have made that leap will feminism bring women back to the place they need to be to help continue our society with some semblance of order. Because when women are combative towards men (and vice versa), we fail to bring up the next generation with any respect for anyone. Teenage girls have developed disdain for teenage boys and see them merely as a means to an end; teenage boys do not respect teenage girls because they don't understand the differences between boys and girls.

Let modern feminism go. Continue working toward "equal pay for equal work" without destroying the very fiber of what makes a modern society civil.

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