by Jerry Curtis

Created on: November 29, 2008

Rosie's new prime time variety show

One of the great things about our country is that we have a vast tolerance for controversy and for quirky characters. If the likes of Jerry Springer can flourish on daytime television, why can't Rosie O'Donnell capitalize on her recent notoriety and host a New York-based live variety show? Might be fun.

The answer to the foregoing rhetorical question was apparent about five minutes into Rosie's new show on Wednesday evening, November 26th: Rosie Odonnell is no Carol Burnett. She can do standup, but she is no singer. She cannot dance, and she just looks plumb awkward in those contrived banter-laden duets that Carol was so good at. Rosie's new show was hyped with some obviously manufactured controversy between her and Barbara Walters. Promoters probably hoped that Rosie's return might be a truly red-letter occasion. Unfortunately, those letters turned out to be "P.U."

Personally, I have never been a fan of Rosie. Her profane roughness and chip-on-the-shoulder confrontational behavior grates on my Midwestern sensibilities. I have also never cared for anyone (like Rosie) who flaunts her sexual preference to get talk-show applause lines. Neverthleless, I was willing to give Rosie a chance. I looked forward to her new variety show, because I like variety TV.

I was disappointed. I knew from the beginning of the program that I was going to hate this show. From her embarrassing routine with the superannuated Liza Minnelli at the beginning to the equally embarrassing shtick of Alec Baldwin's talking to Rosie's cleavage, topped off with cameos by (pie-in-the-face) Conan O'Brien and (30-second song) Harry Connick, Jr., the show was a mess. Then Clay Aiken shows up in his Broadway Show regalia, and the best he can do is make some dopey joke about him and Rosie both being gay. (P.U., again.) Some of the other guests (female singers mainly) did well, but not enough to save the show.

Perhaps the worst thing about her new show was that Rosie seemed awkward and out of place. Watching her all gussied up in lipstick, gown and white fur gave her the appearance of a sort of neo-Kate Smith (a hefty songstress of the 1950's whose signature tune was "When the Moon Comes Over the Mountain.") I remember thinking as Rosie did one of her awkwardly choreographed numbers: "You can put lipstick on Rosie O'Donnell, but she is still Rosie O'Donnell." I will be surprised if this show makes it past the first season. To do that, I believe that Rosie will have to remove her lipstick.

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