by Hope Lee

Created on: November 29, 2008   Last Updated: February 03, 2009

Traditionally, the maid of honor is the right-hand woman to the bride and her mother, assisting with the wedding preparations and being on hand to help plan the shower and other festivities. Because of these traditional duties, it can be daunting to consider choosing or being a long distance maid of honor, but today's mobile society makes that more likely than ever. The good news is that technology and a little inventiveness can ease the challenges of the long-distance maid of honor.

The bride needs to consider these questions before choosing a long-distance maid of honor:

What will the maid of honor be expected do? Thinking long and realistically about this question will go a long way towards addressing whether or not a long distance maid of honor is appropriate. If, for example, the maid of honor is expected to plan a lavish wedding shower brunch on her own in the bride's hometown, it would be important to have someone available nearby. However, if the most important thing is that the maid of honor is available to provide emotional support and a balanced view of the world during these stressful months, then a long distance maid of honor may be appropriate (or even more helpful!).

Who is available? Most brides have some idea by the time it comes to picking their wedding party who they want to be in it. Usually, the "must have" people are a combination of family and close friends. Looking at this "short list" to choose the maid of honor will be helpful. If a local maid of honor is important, that could be the tie-breaker between the best friend and the sister. However, if it will cause too much conflict to choose between these two important people, consider co-maids or a matron of honor alongside a maid of honor (if one is married and the other is not). In some cases, looking at the list will reveal that no one local is available.

Who else can help? If the maid of honor is going to be the bride's sole source of help and support, then location becomes more important. However, if other family and friends are available to give physical support and assistance, then it does not matter as much if the maid of honor flies into town three days before the wedding.

If a long-distance maid of honor is chosen, then a little inventiveness is needed to fulfill her duties. If the bride would normally want the maid of honor with her while dress shopping, then use a camera phone to snap photos and text them to the maid of honor right away. To be present at the events leading up to a wedding, many now combine events in one timeframe. This may mean hosting the shower and the bachelorette party on the same weekend, or having the bachelorette party right before the wedding. This not only assists the maid of honor in being present, but other out-of-town guests as well. Telephone plans with lots of minutes mean that is easy for the bride and maid of honor to keep in touch, daily if necessary, about the wedding and the bride's concerns.

The most important thing to keep in mind with choosing (or being) a maid of honor is that it is an honor and is intended to make the wedding day even more special.

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