by Tina Hartley

Created on: November 29, 2008

Making choices are an important part of the growing process for children. You can empower your child to make good choices by giving them options and letting them begin to learn from making mistakes. As parents we want nothing more than to have our children be safe, healthy and happy. We want them to grow into strong, productive adults. The best thing you can do for your child's future is to lay a strong foundation for him or her to build on.

One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is trying too hard to protect their child from hurt and disappointment. The child is never allowed to learn that making poor choices leads to undesirable results. Part of the internal struggle going on inside a toddler in the terrible twos is the attempt to learn to use the newly found powers of control over their world. Empowering your toddler to make choices helps to hone decision making skills they will use for the rest of their lives.

Whenever possible, let your child make choices. Toddlers don't have many areas in which to stretch their decision making skills. Allow him or her to choose between an apple and a pear for a snack, between water and juice for a drink. For a toddler the list of options is best kept at either/or. Too long a list of possible choices can set both of you up for a frustrating time. Allow your toddler to help choose what clothes to wear, or what toy to take to the park.

Any time making the wrong choice doesn't involve anything potentially harmful; let your toddler make that wrong one. They are learning cause and effect along with learning how to use control. It is perfectly okay to make a wrong choice and have to learn to live with it, even for a toddler. By giving your child safe areas to make decisions he or she has somewhere to direct that innate need for control. The benefits are twofold; it helps keep frustration to a minimum and sets up the stage for learning valuable lessons.

When your child wants option C instead of A or B; stick to your original statement. Calmly repeat the options again. Don't let decision making become a way for your toddler to exercise control over you! A toddler is quick to see a chink in the armor. When you're dealing with a toddler in the terrible twos it can easily escalate into a battle. It's part of their job description to try to test the limits.

Be firm about the areas where choices are not an option, but allow them to make decisions whenever possible. The way to empower toddlers to make good choices is to allow them to make choices.

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