by D. Victor

Created on: November 29, 2008   Last Updated: December 31, 2009

Keeping your friends close and enemies closer seems like a counter-intuitive thing to do. A common reason for not getting along with certain individuals is usually that you do not like them. You could also dislike someone because it seems impossible to get along with them- no matter what you try.

It is somewhat challenging to overcome this, but you must begin with the premise of loving your enemies. In time, you will find that it becomes part of you. Now, I'm not suggesting that you have a beverage with anyone you dislike. Getting along is more a case of being polite, civil and courteous to such an individual.

Don't let your dislike of someone prevent you from interacting with them completely. Sometimes it cannot be avoided, so you have to make the best of a sub-optimal situation. Fortunately, you can reclaim your power and get along with those who raise your ire in many ways.

== Serenity ==

Recall the beautiful "Serenity Prayer". To get along with people that you don't like, you must also accept the things you cannot change and have the wisdom to know that you can't change it. First, acknowledge and accept that you do not like the individual. Just be philosophical about it.

== Don't make it personal ==

Steer clear of verbal sparring and avoid barbs about the other person. Do your best to ignore goading from the other party as well. It may be necessary to change your thinking about the other person a bit too. Nothing is necessarily wrong with the person that you don't like. Personalities are like chemicals- some are inert while others are explosive when combined. Just focus on the good in the person.

== Extend common courtesies, even if you don't receive them ==

Mind your manners, especially with those that you do not like. This will demonstrate your attempt to be civil and sometimes may ease tensions that exist. By not discriminating against your foe or demonstrating your dislike openly, you'd stand a better chance of even mending the chasm that exists. Remember to be fair and just in your interactions with those you do not like.

== Develop an optimum level of interaction ==

This is done by setting proper boundaries. If you can avoid being around the individual that you dislike excessively- do it. Absence, in this case, can make the heart grow tolerant. However, if you must be around the person a lot, use a lot of small talk and jokes if you can. In other words, talk a lot about nothing. Most importantly, communicate clearly your position on what your interaction should and should not entail.

Just as there will always be conflict, there will always be people that you dislike. It helps to know why you don't like someone. That way you can determine if you just need to fix yourself. If fixing yourself is not necessary, don't assume the other person is in a state of mental and emotional disrepair. Love everyone and attempt to treat all souls as well as you can and you'll get along with most people- even those that you dislike.

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