by Effie Moore Salem

Created on: November 28, 2008   Last Updated: May 06, 2010

Helicopter parents hover over their child in their every move. Don't do that, it is stifling. Give them space to be themselves. A helicopter parent is, according to my instantaneous definition, a parent who is flying so far over the heads of the reality their children face, they are not allowing the children time to learn their own way. This is my take on the topic. Admittedly, I never heard parents described with that precise phrase, but now that I see it in print, immediately I know them. They can be described equally well with other less high-flown phrases:

Helicopter parents are smother mothers. They are so involved in every aspect of their children's lives they leave no room for their children to think on their own. They are sure of one fact: their children will have a better chance in life that the had.

A helicopter parent wears crop duster blinders: They are so concerned that their children get a fair deal in life, they hover over them spraying verbal insecticides to keep off all the bugging and annoyances that children need to learn how to take in stride.

A helicopter parent needs to land once in a while and take a good look at what they are doing, what their children are doing and separate the critical issues from those that will dissipate with time and maturity. It isn't easy seeing their children as they are and not seeing them as they want them to be.

A helicopter parent often times forget they are not jet propelled planners and are instead only regular parents who dream dreams for their offspring that have no solid ground underneath them. Some of us were meant to be exactly what we become. And what's wrong with being an honest garbage man, a well respected ditch digger, a house cleaner, or a writer who just blows steam? Where would the rest of the world be without them?

A helicopter parent is one who does not give their children the benefit of the doubt. They ask for the truth but go behind their children's back and sneak into diaries, and eavesdrop on confidential conversations between their children and their friends. They do not give them the same respect they demand from them. They then wonder later why they their children brazenly sneak around and pilfer through purses and drawers and on occasion have been known to help themselves to a money not theirs.

A helicopter parent believes that school playgrounds and public parks and the neighbors green well kept lawn is a landing strip for them and their brash youngsters to partake of as they see fit. They expect to take off and land and if children get knocked over, or flower pots get overturned, so what, aren't their children more valuable than these things? It is shocking to learn they are only more valuable to the parents, oftentimes!

And last, helicopter parents, the genuine helicopter parents are a little bit of all of us who walked the path of parenthood. Who else but their loving and doting and ever caring and forgiving and demanding parents would have the nerve to ask the rest of the world to stand aside and let their children pass. They know where they are going because we hovered over them made sure they learned how to read maps. And some years hence they too will have earned their pilot's licenses.

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