by Melody Hearndon

Created on: November 28, 2008   Last Updated: January 05, 2009

There is no greater joy than that of being a parent, and with that same joy you will come to know the deepest heartache ever known to man. There is no 12 step program to guide you through this maze of joy and pain. You are on your own.

My 12 step program evolved by way of trial and error. It's been 23 years since we brought our first baby home, and 21 years since the last one.

Expect the unexpected

You will develop your own formula for parenting and modify its content as the years unfold ahead of you. These will be the years where your knowledge and strength are put to the test. While you may struggle with decisions that ultimately build your character, you will come to understand many years later that parenting is all about trial and error.

Information overload

There will be a barrage of information bestowed upon you from loving and concerned family and friends. Some of that you will consider, and some of it you will discard. The books available should be "guides" that assist you, but should never be set in stone as the absolute "truth".

Mistakes

You will make many mistakes, because no one person can do everything right just as no one person can do everything wrong. After my second son was born, I knew if he walked into the wall accidentally, he wouldn't need me to call 911.

Little people

Our children are "individuals". They will grow up so quickly, you will wonder how it happened so fast. My boys were as opposite as they could be. My oldest was more able to entertain himself without needing constant attention, whereas my youngest commanded attention constantly. Children are as individual as adults and you will learn how to adjust your parenting skills accordingly.

Laughter

Homes with children should be filled with laughter. There will be so many things that will happen as a result of children, you won't be able to maintain a straight face. When my second child was born we lived in a two-bedroom place. After the 2nd week, my oldest son was assisting me bathe his baby brother. In a conversation we have never forgot, he plainly asked "how long we were going to keep this "baby"? My husband and I looked at him, and reassured him we were keeping this baby as long as we were keeping him. He quite simply replied that if we were going to keep this baby, than could the "baby" sleep in the garage? We still laugh about that to this day.

Patience

This was an issue I struggled with a long time. I've never had a sufficient amount of patience. I was somehow shorted on that virtue. What

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