by kss

Created on: November 28, 2008

Why is my birth such a secret? Why can't I know what two people created me?
At this time, 40 years ago, where was I? I know I was in a boarding home, but where?
My photo copied birth certificate states I was born 11-16-1968 in Saginaw, Michigan,
but after I was born, who held me?
Who fed me? Who bathed me and got me to sleep?
Who knew the person who was pregnant with me for 9 months? Who was the doctor who cut me loose?

My adoption experience has always been one of questions, and the older I become, the more questions
I wish to have answered.
My adoptive parents were the most amazing parents one could wish for. The values, experiences, morals,
and security they provided, no one could ever have asked for more. They told me I was adopted I believe,
when I was 9, although I may have been younger. I remember celebrating my special day, the day they
brought me home, 32 days after I was born, and I have pictures of that day forward.
What were the circumstances surrounding me being conceived? How did the woman who gave birth to me
feel at any time during her pregnancy? Did the father know, and did their parents know?
I remember in my early teens asking my mom questions about my birth, and she always seemed sad as
though by me asking I was making her feel not good enough, so the topic was seldom brought up.
At that time in my life, I remember wondering if I resembled anyone. Who did I get me eye and hair
color from. I still wonder that, and maybe even more so now that I have children. My oldest son is about
6'4", slender and athletic, and blonde blonde hair. I am only 5'7" and have brown hair, and my son's father,
who is also adopted, is 5'10" with brown hair, so it just makes me wonder who my son may resemble.
My mom passed away in January, 2008. Before she left, she gave me all the information she had saved
surrounding my adoption. Original letters and receipts, and my final adoption papers. There was also one
handwritten steno pad piece of paper with the nationality, height, weight, hair color, eye color, complexion,
build, education, and health of my birth parents, and a 2 page report, written in remarks to a form entitled,
Things to Know about Baby: To be completed on the day baby leaves boarding home.
I have continually searched for clues within these documents, but they have not answered any questions.
Are they alive? Do they even remember I exist? Does anyone know anything surrounding my birth? I feel
someone knows something, but who? Will I ever know? or Why can't I know or shouldn't I know?
Why does it still have to be such a big secret? I do exist, and if nothing else, I want to thank my birth
mother for giving me a chance because if not for her I wouldn't be here and neither would my boys.
Through the years I have filed paper work with the Michigan Department of Community Health, Sanilac
Probate Court, Catholic Family Services, the Central Adoption Registry Clearance, the State of Michigan
Family Independence Agency, and ISRR, and have registered and searched many forums, websites, and
groups with little to no results. I am not going to give up though. I feel I will always want to know
something more before I die. My adoption experience has been and will continue to be one of my life's
quests. My life long search for answers surrounding my entrance into this world.

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