by Dottie Cooper

Created on: November 28, 2008

Middle School. The place where a child enters as a preteen and exits as a teenager. The bridge between elementary school and high school. The place where students who may have made straight A's in elementary finally come up against material that requires them to work, to study, to spend time. The place where students can walk to lunch with friends and not have to worry about boy-girl lines. Sometimes, parents are more stressed than their middle school student. The following tips will help both students and parents alike.

Parents:

1) Set your boundaries early. Parents need to know at what point they will swoop in and rescue their child before they actually do it. Most children struggle with the transition to middle school. A smooth transition is often dependent upon how involved a parent is from the get go. If you dive in at the first glimmer of trouble, you may become what is affectionately known as a "helicopter parent", or one who is constantly hovering over a child to make sure they don't experience any dismay at anything. It is okay and expected that a child will struggle. Struggle builds self-reliance and self-advocacy.

2) Communicate with the source closest to the issue. All too often, parents are eager to jump the gun on any little issue. Johnny had two reading pages for language arts homework when his friend only had one? Try calling the teacher to find out why instead of making a federal case by calling the principal or superintendent.

3) Believe only half of what you hear. Mrs. Teacher assigned 500 word essay today that is due tomorrow? Unlikely. Students often exaggerate or leave out key details when it is their butt on the line. The essay was probably assigned several days ago with plenty of in-class time to work on it. Call the teacher to get the other half of the story.

4) Encourage involvement with after school clubs and sports. Middle school is a big place. Allowing your child to pursue interests in the form of clubs allows him/her to get to know other students with similar interests who may or may not be in the same grade.

5) Don't be afraid of failure. The habits formed in middle school will often determine the level of success a student has in high school. This makes middle school an excellent place to allow kids to spread their own wings and try to practice a little independence. If students are allowed to taste failure, hopefully they will learn early on that it is worth putting a little effort in to win back the opportunity for freedom and control.

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