by Tracey Burchard

Created on: November 28, 2008

Forgiveness How Healing Your Past Can Heal Your Present

"I forgive you" It's something we say as kids, but not so much in adulthood. And as kids, we don't really mean itsomebody just makes us say it.
So, what is forgiveness, and how can it impact illnesses, disease, your body and your life?

Forgiveness:

Webster's dictionary says:

To free from accusation, or the imputation of fault or blame; to clear from guilt; to release from a charge; to justify by extenuating a fault; to exculpate; to absolve; to acquit.To pardon, as a fault; to forgive entirely, or to admit to be little censurable, and to overlook; as, we excuse irregular conduct, when extraordinary circumstances appear to justify it.To regard with indulgence; to view leniently or to overlook; to pardon.To free from an impending obligation or duty; hence, to disengage; to dispense with; to release by favor; also, to remit by favor; not to exact; as, to excuse a forfeiture.

The first thing that comes to my mind as I read the Webster's definition is "I don't think so"

A wave of resistance just bubbles up in my stomach, my chest and my throat and I further resolve that I'm not going to let my perpetrator off that easily! They need to suffer! You want me to overlook what they did? Free them from blame? Release by favor? You gotta be kidding! They hurt me they need to suffer.

In my mind, the hurt that they caused me validates my feelings of anger, hatred, disgust, blame and more. Every bad thing that happens to them just reinforces my need for justice, for payback, for revenge.

Here's the question is this what I want? Do I want to be angry? Do I like the thoughts that are going through my head? Every time I think about the incident, I feel more and more hurt and disgusted. My hate grows. What, exactly is that doing to me, physically, mentally and spiritually?

Physically I get tense every time I think about this person or what they did. Sometimes the tenseness is there even though I'm not thinking about it. My stomach, chest and shoulders tense up, my face frowns and my forehead creases. I may head to the refrigerator to find something to "stuff down" the feelings with, or maybe a drink to dull the emotions.

Mentally I am so out of focus I have a hard time reading a book, working or even cleaning. I keep thinking of the hurt which just brings a flood of emotions that are uncomfortable, so to cover the emotions I try to think of something else, absorb myself in TV or anything that can take my mind off it for a while. After

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