by J. Paxton

Created on: November 28, 2008

As an only child, one of my greatest fears while going away to college was the roommate/flatmate issue. For the past few years, I've been lucky to be graced with some great flatmates (including the individual who would later become my best friend), but every now and then that simply wasn't the case. While stories of "Crazy Kate" from Italy (who locked me out of the apartment in a foreign city at 4:30 in the morning) and being sexiled by Anna whenever her boyfriend came to visit are classic favorites amongst my friends, the one individual who will forever live in infamy is Ashley. One of my favorite stories (and one of the few appropriate to tell on such a website) happened during our last week as college students.

During what was affectionately known as "Senior Week", all underclassmen left campus, leaving it run by those of us who had done our time. The second night before graduation, us ladies of 303 played hostess to Anna's good friend Ethan, who had visited us several times before. It was a difficult decision for Anna to invite him, due to previous drama involving him, Ashley, and a couple of drunken nights and awkward mornings. However, Ashley brushed all of this off, claimed it was all in the past and reminded us that she was "seeing" this guy named Tommy. (We had come to learn by this point that "seeing" someone in Ashley's mind only meant seeing them when no one else in her phone book would pick up on a Friday night.)

That night of Senior Week started out fantastically. My girlfriends (and Ethan) started it out together, but one by one, we got split-up. Around midnight, I got a call from Ethan, asking if I could let him back into our apartment-he was ready to head to bed. I picked up him from the party he was at, walked him back to my place, and pointed out that Anna was staying the night at her boyfriend's, so he could stay in her room, instead of our couch. I thought I had made it through the night, drama and Ashley free.

Around 5 AM, I heard a frantic pounding outside my room. I stumbled out of bed and opened the door, to Ashley standing there, an utterly livid look in his eyes. Before I could even ask her what was going on, she pushed past me and began looking under my bed, in my closet, in the corners of my room, screeching, "WHERE IS HE?" I tried to process what was going on.

"Wha....who....?"

"ETHAN. I KNOW YOU'RE HOOKING UP WITH HIM, I JUST KNOW IT."

I'm not really sure what her thought process was, or how I could possibly hide him in a college-issued

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