by Seven Tafaoa

Created on: November 28, 2008

I don't believe this statement: Once a cheater always a cheater. We are subject to change, even in our behavioral ways that are immoral. But it is to those that are resistant to change whom this statement is deemed valid. Let me further explain it:

I've known of a person who has been married more than once because of his cheating habit. He sought counseling from left to right, but it was to no avail-instead of it lessening the habit, all the more it fueled it. The end result was that he turned out to have a child from each woman he married to. Call him a womanizer, a sexual addict, a cheater; even that won't change him. Presently, he is faithful to his wife and daughter while keeping in touch with his children from previous marriages. Why is he not continuing down that road of cheating to his wife? What made him stop?

There is a choice that he has to make usually at the end of his sexual pursuit , that is, he has to "change". He came to a realization that he had done worse in his previous marriages because of his tendency to cheat. He knew of the choice to elude the downward spiral of his insatiable urge to fulfill his sexual and lustful pursuit, but he was captivated by the choice of getting laid with a different woman.

In all of us, there is a need for change of something that we know would not lead us to obtaining life's success. We all have the ability to make better in life or dwindle in despair. Naturally, we would want to achieve success in life for ourselves and family. But when we decide not to, we well know that it sets a stage for us to be lifeless bringing nothing but heartaches and pain.

That statement "once a cheater always a cheater" should be changed to "even a cheater is subject to change", shedding some light of hope for all the cheaters out there. In essence, you can't always be a cheater unless you are a sex addict. If so, the statement holds some truth there, but it doesn't alter the fact that you do have he will power to choose for yourself the way out. Instead of continuing down that road of becoming a "permanent" cheater, think of the consequences of how being a cheater can affect your lover and children.

Like the man illustrated, we are confronted with choices to make about being a cheater. Questions to consider are: 1) Why do we want to cheat? 2) Do I want to cheat?, and 3) How is it going to benefit you, and your lover and children?

Therefore, "once a cheater always a cheater" is either overrated or underrated because of one self-taught solution bestowed on us by the overbearing burden of our conscience about the immoral act we find to harm us, rather than to benefit us.

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