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To this day I miss the time I spent with my very best friend in the world, Bryan. Tall, dark and handsome and full of strength. He had a small amount of arrogance we used to tease him about. I was 18 when we met. We were introduced by another dear friend of mine from high school. The day that i met him I was drawn to his soulful brown eyes and his open warm smile. Even though we were male and female there was never any want or sexual tension. It was a true honest love, like you would have for a brother or sister. Bryan was an only child and never had a sibling.

We became inseparable quickly, to the point that our other friends felt shut out and resentful. It was as though we knew every thing about each other and accepted each other with no exceptions. I was overweight, a tad timid and not used to attention from males in my age group. He made me feel so secure.

At the age of twenty I met my soon to be husband and there was confusion. Bryan and I had fulfilled every aspect of each others lives with the exception of romance. I wanted to get married and have children. I met someone who I thought was right for this, but in fact our relationship was never close. I had found someone to fulfill the romance and sexual needs, but he was lacking in personality and charisma. He was not Bryan.

Bryan and I did not speak to each other for months because of a horrible argument we had over our relationship changing. We were both confused. I think by marrying my first husband and presenting this to Bryan I some how secretly wished he would ask me not to go through with the marriage. That he would come sweep me away and say lets spend forever together. Bryan came to my wedding after months of not talking, but not to sweep me away. We posed for pictures after the ceremony, me in my wedding gown with him to the right of me. It was almost as if these could have been our wedding pictures, but they were not.

Bryan and I grew apart after I married. It was through our mutual friend that introduced us that I found out Bryan was ill. He had lymphatic cancer. Bryan, being the proud and slightly arrogant man that he was did not want me to see him ill. He had lost weight and the chemotherapy had taken its toll. I spoke to him on the phone and it was as we never drifted apart. I told him I loved him and I would pray for him. We talked every once in a while over the phone, but he never allowed me to see him in person.

I remember the day I got the call telling me Bryan had passed away. There

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