by Julie Hockenberry Hicks

Created on: January 18, 2007   Last Updated: March 17, 2010

During the holiday shopping time, when materialism smothers visions of the Christ child with blinking lights and signs proclaiming "SALE!", it's easy to get sucked into thinking that what your loved ones need most is something you can buy with the swipe of a card. 

If I had actually stuck to my intended shopping budget (which should have been much less than what I had made it), it may have been fine. But the danger of paying with plastic is that it's very easy to swipe and forget how many times you have already swiped before. When I checked my balance early on Christmas Eve, I realized the damage I had done. Even though the bank would be closed until the following Tuesday and most of my purchases would not be added to the account until then, I was looking at the very real possibility of having spent a lot more than what I actually had available once all of those swipes finally took effect. It was one of those moments where you kick yourself for the sheer stupidity of your own actions and the fact that there is no way to fix what you have done. In this case there actually was, though I hated the solution.

I walked out into the living room and stared at the presents that crowned my brown couch, still fuming at myself. I had known better than to get myself in this situation. My family wasn't even expecting any of this - why had I let myself get so caught up in trying give them things they didn't even need? "But these gifts are perfect!" I found myself saying out loud. And they were. I had finally found that football crock pot that I was sure my brother, both fond of cooking and a Packer fan, would like. The seat massager would be perfect for my sister since she had been dealing with aches and pains lately - and she would even be able to use it in her truck. I had gotten Thomas the Train Engine paraphernalia for my youngest nephew who was a fanatic. A set of brushes, two canvases and a beginner's oil painting kit for my oldest nephew who seemed to be a budding artist.

In that moment, I knew I had missed the point of the season. They didn't need any of this. And I literally couldn't afford to give it to them. I was going to have to take these back, at least some of them. A temper tantrum started churning within me as I considered that. That was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. But what was I supposed to do about food and gas? It would be another week before I got paid. It really wasn't a matter of choice.

Still being slightly overcome by the "meaning"

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