by Rachon Ward

Created on: November 26, 2008   Last Updated: July 25, 2010

Building A Lifelong Relationship With Your Daughter-in-law

Remember what it was like to be in her shoes. You married some ones son once too. In my case, my mother-In-law was hard on all her daughter-In-laws. I did not know this at first and took it quite personally until I realized this treatment was not just for me.

When you first meet your daughter-in-law to be, remember rule number one, regardless of what you have been told or any rumors you may have heard do not form any preconceived notions. Decide for yourself after several meetings or family get together' s how you feel based on your own opinions, not someone else's.

Rule three, make the first meeting with just your immediate family. A nice quiet dinner. Not during a big family reunion where you are both nervous and cannot get time alone to get to know each other.

So when I was introduced to my Daughter-In-Law I made up my mind to be everything my Mother-in-law was not. I wanted her to feel special and a be a special part of our family. After all she married my son, she has to have good tastes. So rule number three, make your daughter-in-law feel special and do not compare her to someone else.

Do not forget the feelings you had when you met your mother-in-law. I was scared to death. Try to make them feel welcomed. Even if you do not like the person your son chose, remember that he does. It will only make a bad situation worse if you make your feelings known. Who knows, you might learn to love each other. Rule number four, keep any bad feelings or opinions to yourself.

Above all decide what is more important keeping your son or loosing him. If you do not like each other it only makes it hard on all involved. Some day you may have grandchildren and it makes it hard for them too. They feel as if they have to choose. You can still show respect and common courtesy even if you do not like someone. You want to see your grandchildren, and you want it to be under pleasant terms. Rule number five, play nice, even if it kills you.

If you apply these five rules when meeting your daughter-in-law for the first time and anytime you are together, you should form a lifelong relationship that will keep on giving long after you have become a grandmother.

When I met my daughter-in-law Erin, it was under strained circumstances. My relationship with my eldest son is not at it's best. Yet Erin wanted us to meet. They chose to stay in our home instead of a hotel. Things could not have been any more intense than this

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