by Karen Buckner

Created on: November 26, 2008

Mom seeks revenge:

It had been the typical exhausting 10 hour day filled with meetings, conference calls and random fires to put out. The one thing that got me through the chaos was the fantasy of this moment.

Calgon was about to take me away. I had the water temperature just right, the steam was rising upwards carrying the aroma of Lavender with it. The scent was lofting through the air caressing my nostrils, I breathed it in and closed my eyes ready to begin my voyage into relaxation.

I slowly descended into the soothing bubbles as they embraced my aching muscles providing relief from the weight of the day. Finally this was my moment to let go of the stress and strain. I closed my eyes and began to imagine myself walking through a meadow, skipping along feeling the subtle breeze blowing through my, "Mom?"

The noise startled me but I knew I had to concentrate, I must dive deeper into my meditation. "Mom?" There it was again! But this was impossible, I specifically gave instructions that I not be disturbed.

"Mom?" It was getting louder now but I was dedicated to my mission, I could not let this temporary distraction take me off my path to serenity. No, I must focus, I must - "MOOMMM!" The tone was much more persistent this time and followed by an incessant knocking at the door. They were trying to get in! The door knob shook to and fro as they pounded against the wood over and over again "MOM! MOM! I know you're in there!"

I could feel myself breaking down, I wanted to cry but I knew I had to be strong, I had to fight. "Mom! Kelly won't leave me alone, she keeps hitting me" it was the little one, he always knew how to break me.

"Tell your sister I said to leave you alone!" I shouted and then there was silence. It had worked, it had actually worked! I had finally won the battle. Victory and a hot bath were mine!

But it was not meant to be, they were back and this time they meant business. "MOM! I wasn't hitting him, he was reading my diary! We're hungry, are you almost done in there?"

It was her this time, my oldest and the ring leader of the crew. She was tactical and smart about gaining points of entry, that's why in addition to locking the door I placed a piece of duct tape across it. Good thing too because at that moment, the door began to open but my duct tape barrier blocked her intrusion. She poke her nose and mouth through the small opening she said "Mom! Did you tape the door? Whatever, we're hungry and I need help with my homework can you hurry up Paleease?"

And there it was, my fantasy had come crashing down around me. There would be no relaxation, no moment of peace, no escape from reality or would there be? "All is not lost" I told myself as I began to plot. I dried off, put on my robe and headed to the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" they asked.

I smiled lovingly and said "It's a surprise". As they sat at the table waiting for the meal to arrive I could not help but indulge in the moment and gave out a hearty chuckle. You see, every mom has her moment even if sometimes we have to find clever ways of exacting our revenge.

Maybe I should have felt a little guilty when I placed the dried, burnt meatloaf on the table along with the unseasoned and undercooked broccoli but for some reason, I didn't.

Who needs Calgon when you got meatloaf!

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