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Love & Lust

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How to tell if it's love or just lust

Love means never having to say you're sorry. Lust leads us into situations we're likely to sorry about.

Many times, the differences between love and lust are not easily recognizable, particularly at the beginning of a relationship. Many couples misinterpret the initial feelings of lust for love, only to realize much too late, that one has little to do with the other when establishing the emotional foundation of something lasting.

Learning to tell the difference between love and lust is important to the long term stability of a relationship. Satisfying lust quenches an immediate physical urge which is tied to sexual desire. Falling in love satisfies the internal yearning to share intimate parts of one's life with another person based on common interests and goals.

The definition of love as described by Merriam-Webster's online dictionary states that love is, "strong affection arising out of kinship or personal ties" and "affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests." Lust is defined as "intense or unbridled sexual desire" or "an intense longing." Based on these definitions, we learn that we can certainly experience lust without any feelings of love. And we can also experience love without lust being a part of the equation.

Generally speaking, love is a sincere emotional experience. It is something that is felt internally and is established over time. Love can last indefinitely, even eternally, and continues to grow as couples share themselves with one another intimately and emotionally. Love is built upon shared experiences and interests, and is capable of sustaining relationships, even through difficulties.

Lust, on the other hand, can be fleeting. It is caused by physical attraction and driven by the intense desire to satisfy physical cravings. There is little emotional feeling involved, but the intensity of the yearning can sometimes cloud emotional perceptions. When this happens, one or both people in the relationship may think that they are in love, but are usually only attracted to each other strictly because of sexual compatibility.

Couples who love each other build a foundation of openness and honesty in their communication. They spend time together, work at their relationship, and allow very little outside interference. They are supportive of each other, establish goals for their relationship and strive toward achieving them.

Relationships dependant upon lust have few lasting elements beyond intimate interaction. Many times, couples involved in that type of relationship find few common interests. There is little warmth between the two, and they soon find themselves drifting in different directions. They find themselves arguing frequently, usually over small things, and look for ways to spend more time away from each other than in spending more time together.

However, lust between two people who love each other can add excitement to a relationship. But, it's important to distinguish the difference between the two. Establishing long term commitment without the foundations of love can prove emotionally fatal. Many of us make that mistake at least once in our lives, but it's a mistake that is seldom easy to recover from.

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