by Bob Duden

Created on: November 25, 2008   Last Updated: September 07, 2009

Those three little words are so often misconstrued. "I love you", runs the gamut from a catch phrase to an endearing truth. But what do those three little words mean, and are they spoken too often? If I take the time to say, "I love you", would you believe me? Whether or not you do, I've added another voice to this debate, but what have I done? I told you I loved you but, are the words sincere? And does any of this matter, because those three little words are so often over used and cloyingly spoken that they become mundane. That would appear to be the case right here. You have no idea when you read this if I'm really sincere.

To study the use of those three little words, we have to discuss who uses them, and why! We will break down all of humanity into three seperate groups, the secure, the insecure, and the sociopaths. Everyone will fall somewhere into one of those three groups. So when it comes to the use of the phrase, "I love you", you'll have to look in a mirror and see where you stand, what group you belong to.

People who have attained a sense of security are by and large more confident. They are the true believers when it comes to using those three little words. They have found their soul mate and what we all like to think of as true love. Secure in that relationship, they don't need to say those three little words quite as often. A wink or a nod will suffice and their partner knows the meaning. They see it in the eyes or the gesture, "I love you", and there is an acceptance that goes beyond understanding. Those three little words, although not spoken, have just as much meaning.

Insecure people are the needy ones. They need to hear or say those three little words over and over again. They constantly require an affirmation of your feelings. Tell me please, as often as you can, because I need to know just how you feel. But how often do you really need to hear them, those three little words? You may love chocolate devil's food cake but, can you live on it? A diet of only chocolate cake will become tedious as well as unhealthy. Too much of a good thing takes away the luster and it all just becomes common place. Such can be the case with those three little words.

Lastly, there's a school of thought that says some people are incapable of loving anyone other than themselves. Science may call them sociopaths, but you really can't tell them apart from everyone else. They live normal lives, engage in relationships, and tell their partner that they love them. Do those words then ring true? It's in the eye of the beholder, so to speak. There is a believability factor here, because only those in the relationship can actually determine the validity of the words when they are spoken. Do you trust your partner when they utter those words? Trust is one of the most sacred aspects to any relationship. Where there's trust, there is a belief in each other so when those three little words are used, do they ring true?

Take a quick look at the opposite end of the spectrum, the phrase "I hate you". A child glares at a parent who has just denied them a request and shouts, "I hate you". Are those words sincere? They are spoken out of anger at not getting what was desired. They still have meaning but, a parent understands how hollow they can be. In your heart of hearts, you know them not to be true. That's the same way "I love you" rings hollow when it is used too often. The real answer to the question then, is up to the individual. It all depends on how often you need to hear them, those three little words.

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