by Jane Rutherford

Created on: November 25, 2008

Helicopter parents are parents who constantly interfere with child's school life (most commonly seen in the baby-boomers generation), sometimes even against child's wishes. They call the teachers to discuss the grades, homework and any problems real or imaginary that their child might have. Extreme cases (called "Black Hawk parents") will do anything (legal or not) just to solve any problems their child might be facing.

Helicopter parents tend to do anything to prevent any failures from happening, which is their way to show their children how much they care. And while their intentions are good and they really do wish the best for their kids, it's the worst thing that they can do.

Constant supervision (when it's not really needed), writing college essays (a notorious thing when it comes to Black Hawk' parents) and getting rid of all obstacles on the child's way (i.e. to college), while done with good intentions can stop children from learning from their own mistakes.

Children can be stressed and anxious because of their parents' hovering'. Especially since the constant interference can make them feel as if being good at one thing isn't enough, as if they have to be not only good but great and be great at everything.

Not to mention the fact that if every single problem is solved for them, some even before children are made aware of them, kids can't learn how to be independent and self-sufficient, cope with stress (what's stressful about anything if kids know that Mom or Dad will take care of it?) and how to avoid having similar problems in the future.

Though it's worth pointing out that not every parent, who cares about their child, supports them and helps to solve kid's problems is a helicopter parent.

It's a natural reaction, to feel like you need to do everything to make your child's life easier for them. But there's a difference between asking your child if they need help with their homework and writing essays for them just to make sure they get into college. It's not the same to plead your kid's case when despite hard efforts they might fail a class and having a conversation with teachers every time your child gets a "B" instead of an "A".

In my experience it's always best to let the child learn for themselves and just make sure they know you're always there if they need your help. They might ask every time they have a problem at first, but in most cases after some time children tend to ask for help only when they fail to solve the problem by themselves.

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