by Elena Ryder

Created on: November 24, 2008

To Thine Own Self I Speak

It's a rare occasion that I talk to myself out loud, mainly because the expressions of those within hearing range look at me like I'm nuts. But, there is an ongoing exchange with me, myself, and I that I've learned to embrace as a sort of trinity. Over the years, these three have unified into one clear voice which I refer to as FRED (Friends of Real Enlightening Discussions). Even though they have three distinct functions and varying levels of understanding and access, they merge beautifully into one coherent conversation with myself.

There's the timid one; that soft, small voice that innocently focuses on the greater good. It searches to bring out the best, to see the positive side of things, and to select choices with a degree of modesty and humbleness. Sometimes it's way too nice, though, and it gets trampled on like a doormat. This friend has had to learn to stand tough while being gentle. I sometimes think it's the voice of my grandmother, "you'll catch more bees with honey than with vinegar." Since I don't wish to attract bees, I've updated this realization to "if you see someone that needs help, by all means do so; but be careful not to walk away with their problems." This approach allows a helping hand and a kind heart to do its work without all the weight.

The second team player in this trio is more of an adventurer; a free loving, high spirited side of self that enjoys coloring outside the lines. It's like a wild mind, creative and encouraging, but a bit of a rebel. It doesn't like being told what to do or how to do it, and it will stop at nothing to have itself heard. This sometimes borders on being selfish and fierce in its disregard to established rules and regulations. It's had to learn that a good fight needs a good cause. I feel it's the more childish part of myself, the spoiled brat that seeks attention and thrills. The energy this voice stirs up, however, coupled with its steadfast focus, has made it an endearing aspect of this circle of dialogue with myself.

The balance of these two sides of myself, of course, requires a warrior. The one who fearlessly and compassionately takes swift action without doubt or regret. This is the voice that hears both sides of reason and emotion, and who can see the forest for the trees. Its strength is intuition and decisiveness, and it responds quickly to trust and distancing itself from distractions. This warrior sits at the head of every conversation, yet its diplomatic nature takes into consideration all members of the group. It is both the wise and the warm one, the hawk and the dove.

Together, these three friends of my own voice have helped me through a number of perspectives and choices. We're like the Three Musketeers, The Three Stooges, and Three's Company all wrapped up into One. I've come to know and accept them each for what they are, and the love and laughter that we share brings a wealth of joy in living. "To Thine Own Self Be True". Shakespeare

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