by Louise Ciccone

Created on: November 24, 2008

I often speak in a little voice
A voice that feels inferior
A voice that is weary of the water she treads
A voice that comes with feeling so small at times

I often doubt my strength and confidence
I often doubt the positive thoughts I had before
I often doubt the importance of my place in this world
I often feel I am not as worthy as I say I am

Often inpatient with others who do not think as I

Often cynical and jaded
Often weary of man's spirit
Often confused about why I should Pray

If God already knows me and my heart

Am quick to anger and irritate easily
Am known to talk for hours without a clue as to what my focus is
I think I am more broken inside then I actually am
Feel at times that my life is a fantasy

I scream sometimes
Feel rage filled and bitter
Prone to judgment

Though I know it is more a hesitance to accept that
People are more like me then they are not

I criticize and speak in a condescending tone
Believe that I am always in the right and feel arrogant about it
I cry for simply being in the presence of people enjoying themselves
I laugh out loud in my dreams
Sometimes louder than in my state of consciousness

I give the ending away in shows because it just seems so obvious to me
Though the show has only been on for fifteen minutes
I cook well and I have also burnt dinner many times so far
I have a little OCD when it comes to cleaning
And always make sure the table is
windexed when I get home from work

I am extremely emotional at times
I worry others when I cry though I usually am crying
Out of joy and appreciation and happiness
Not to mention gratitude and love

I have an obsession with writing simple things
And turning them into pages of over used words and syllables
I forget to flush the toilet properly and often forget to close the door
I am over weight and i over eat
I am on crazy medication and have been for a long time

Despite all this and much much more
I have someone in my life who loves me no matter what my tone
No matter what my voice
Despite my history and past
Despite my obvious faults and annoyances
Regardless of what I look like on any given day
With all my ups and downs
Twists and turns
Brightness and grays
Tomorrows and todays

I have someone who loves me for who I am

And that is something I never thought I would have
I have been blessed with
the love of an incredible man
who still kisses me
on the face when I sleep

I have the love of a husband
The love of a person I always thought would never exist
I have someone to share my life with
And who says he will till the day we part
I have the love of a man with the biggest heart
Bigger then I could ever imagine

I am married to the best person in my world
and for once it is not myself

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