by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: November 24, 2008

What service do myths serve? They are a way of explaining the unexplainable.

Before modern science there was no way anyone could understand why certain events happened. Stories made up to make sense of the world helped to put some order into the unknowable for adults as much as for children. These are universal. Some are charming, some are frightening. This pattern has been extended to religious and other events and have a tendency to be believed as true.

We have grown up accepting that Christmas is a time of excitement, secrets and pleasures that don't happen the rest of the year. It cannot be a coincidence that pagans had a festival in the midwinter, solstice, period. For those of us who live in the northern hemisphere this is a bleak and dark time of year. An excuse for a party is welcome.

In some ways it's fun to have the mystery and there is a time when the child learns the truth and can feel superior to younger children who don't know yet. It is almost the first initiation into the adult world. But for some children the sense of betrayal is huge.

Humans love a mystery but there is a difference between a parable and perpetuating something patently untrue. Children are often fobbed off with less than the truth. It is convenient for adults who can't or don't want to say what is really happening. Perhaps it is thought the child will not understand the reality. Some adults have the idea that children think like adults. Research shows this is not true. What children understand by the words adults use can be different. If children are loved, they should be respected and this includes giving them the truth at a level they can understand.

There is no reason why children cannot be told the myth alongside the preparations for Christmas. That way they get a fuller picture. What is more important is that children are told the reason for Christmas. Even if the family are not practising christians, the background of the celebration is important.

Small children are usually fascinated by babies, someone younger than themselves. The danger the holy family experienced will be far more thrilling than the story about a Bishop who lived years ago and who magically whizzes round the world delivering presents down chimneys which in some house don't exist or are enclosed wood burners. The mendacity needed here can get out of hand.

Knowing the truth about Christmas need not in any way diminish the magic, The problem is such myths raise expectations for everyone and this is a time of year when many people become depressed. Perfection is expected and rarely happens. It is better to enjoy the special time together, the unusual food and the fun of presents in an open way rather than imbue them with something which cannot be supported. It should be a time of warmth and shared happiness.

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