by David Guzman

Created on: November 24, 2008   Last Updated: July 27, 2011

Parenting is not usually an addiction, so it should not require a 12
step program. However, there are a few simple rules that will make
your life and your child's life easier. I have applied these raising
two children, and I now enjoy the company of two successful, vibrant
adults who don't mind spending time with their parents.

Rule #1: If I'm going to be aggravated, they are going to be

aggravated.

Even infants figure this one out in a hurry. It's an instant,
practical way to let the little monster know that their needs will be taken
care of, but if their behavior is unreasonable, they will not get their way.

Conversely, if something is aggravating them, respect their fundamental human right to aggravate us until we take care of it, be their need
for food, a change of diaper or attention.

Rule #2: Be engaged at their level.

This starts out early - stick out your tongue at newborns. They will focus on you, ponder for a moment (or several), then do it themselves. Start from there. Pay attention to them and interact with them. Try to understand what they are trying to express. This is a splendid way to calm two year olds - they want to get their ideas across, but lack the language and communication skills. Help them, you will both be less frustrated for it.

Go to their soccer games, admire their handiwork, answer their questions in ways they understand. You will be amazed at how smart
they really are, and how deep their questions can become. You don't need to show that you are better at something, they know that already.
They will catch up to you soon enough.

Rule #3: Don't lie, but don't give them more information than they can deal with.

If you lie, they will eventually figure it out, and begin to mistrust everything you tell them. They will mistrust you anyway during
adolescence. Don't build a foundation for that mistrust when they are young. You don't like it when people lie to you, why should they?

Rule #4: Be yourself.

You are who you are, and they might as well get used to that. Most teaching is done by example, so let them learn from what you are.
They will anyway.

Rule #5: Enjoy them!

They will appreciate adult attention and bask in it. Besides, they are your children. What they do should be interesting or exciting. I found that watching my children trying to do things was like watching a flower bloom. Savor the opportunity.

Raising children should be challenging, interesting and rewarding.  Let them enrich your life the way you do theirs.

Learn more about this author, David Guzman.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.