by Ashley Hester

Created on: November 23, 2008

Not knowing how to discipline can happen a lot for first time parents. If you have a child like mine it probably happens more often than not.

My son has been "high maintenance" since the day he was born. He cried non-stop for the first two hours of his life. He is only two and a half years old. He already exhibits signs of Attention defecate hyper disorder (ADHD). He started having tantrums at 9 months of age. If you tell him "no" he acts like the world is going to end.

Since he is so demanding, I'm sure that when people see us in public they think my son is the biggest brat they have ever seen. They probably think my husband and I are horrible parents that do not discipline our son. This is not the case.

We set boundaries for him, we tell him no, I count to 10 and if he doesn't listen he gets put in time out. We have used the same type of discipline since he was a baby.

Each child has a different personality and just because one way of discipline works with a certain child, doesn't mean it will work with another. You can't always discipline "by the book".

I have learned that you have to accept your child for the way they are. You have to take the Attitudes, tantrums, and all their other problems.

I know that yelling "no" or "stop" is usually our first reaction. I have realized that reasoning with your child has a much better outcome. Explain to your child why they shouldn't do something. Give them alternatives. For example, if they are banging on the television with a toy, ask them to stop and give them something they can bang on, such as pots and pans.

You have to choose discipline strategies that work for your child. Some children need more discipline than others. Some children are too sensitive to be punished at all.

I can't be lenient with my son at all or he will walk all over me. When we go out to eat, he sits in a highchair and when we go shopping he stays in the cart. He does not get things every time we go shopping nor does he ask for things. If he asks and doesn't receive he is going to have a tantrum.

He tries to get his way as much as possible. For the most part he has accepted what he can and can't do. He will test us as much as he can but if we don't give in, he gives up.

I know when a child is having a tantrum it is painful for you to watch. I used to want to give in to him just so he wouldn't be upset. You know what? He gets over it. He doesn't stay mad at me, five minutes after the tantrum he is sitting in my lap again.

Disciplining a child is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have to do. But if you have patience and learn what kind of discipline works best for you and your child. You will succeed.

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