by Casey Case

Created on: November 23, 2008

There are only two types of people in this world: the disabled and the lucky. For those of us who are lucky, that can change in the blink of an eye. I am one of the lucky ones, not because I am not disabled, but because I am in love with someone who is.

I met Mandy in college several years ago after a professor asked me if I would mind tutoring someone who was disabled. Like many people, I had never been around someone with a disability and I probably possessed all the same attitudes towards people with disabilities: I either ignored them or I tried to pretend I didn't notice them. We are so busy working with our own problems that we are reluctant, if not rebellious, toward getting involved with someone else's problem. If we ignore them, they will simply go away.

We are also plagued with ignorance. We speak loudly when addressing someone who is blind, as if compensating for their disability. When we encounter someone in a wheelchair, we begin addressing them as if they were a child even if they are an adult. We sigh and complain when we are riding a bus that has to make a slightly extended stop to pick up someone who needs to use the lift. In short, we are extremely selfish. Anything that interferes with our needs, our time schedule, is a nuisance. Is it any wonder that many people with disabilities suffer an inferiority complex? They are simply reacting to the way they are treated.

My tutoring session with Mandy began with an apology. She apologized for "taking up my time," basically meaning that there were other students easier students who needed my help. But none of my other students put forth the attention and effort that Mandy did. They were more interested in their latest text message than the lesson. Mandy was different, different from any other student I have ever worked with. Her eyes were hungry for knowledge and her desire to not only succeed, but rather excel, amazed me. It wasn't long before I became entranced, if not jealous, of her thirst for knowledge.

College is tough for anyone, let alone a person with Cerebral Palsy who is living independently while raising a young son. All the complaints I had about money, commuting, and study time balanced against work time vanished soon after meeting Mandy. I've heard it said that if we could all put all of our problems up on a shelf and then choose anyone's problems for ourselves, we would ultimately choose our own again because they are familiar and manageable. Now mine seemed almost silly.

Everyone

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